I didn’t want to wait
I told you that
As I waited
My heart knowing
I didn’t want to be apart
For the strings
Binding our hearts
Stretched beyond my comfort
Leaving a pain
Behind my heart
Beside my spine
I no longer remember how it used to feel
Which I cannot decide about,
Whether it is a good thing or bad..
For I can only hope for desire
That becometh to mine name
So vibrant as I used to think it once was.
Nay, it was so! My mind does not deceive,
Nor has it lain dormant these so many years
For I have in the deepest of my heart
Secrets you taught me how to live.
Though placebo may sure to have been at risk
It was learned and practiced
Dare I say enhanced?
Through thy thick precision
That has held with me so many a year.
So I shall not then look back
As though it has faded to negligence.
Though sands held at repeated onslaught,
They remain through it all
Sand as it shall be left to sit
Awash in the sun.
Each glow has been filtered
Down a line of education
By acid rain
And electromagnetic radiation.
In spite it all
No singular action could resolve
Bitterness we all so feel strong
Yet must we search on?
Should we seek to find answers
So desperately within our reach?
Should we gamble and risk,
Dream and desire,
Fight and protest,
Gripe and lament?
The glow, ever glow,
Keep the strings taut.
I desire to see more into you
Like a kaleidoscope on ecstasy
And the lips of an Angel by your name
Licking at my sun heart and strength.
I desire to find more of you
In spaces I can only explore with you
Like a shared decision on a busy road
Where hands are squeezed tighter
And memories imprinted in wind hearts.
I desire to become complete
Beyond what each book shares in detail,
For my typeset runs deeper and clearer
Than a dusty page could ever turn
And your bookmark keeps pages
In a fold you’ve yourself carved out.
I’m not singing for my lungs
Though they burn with desire,
No, the sweetness has left me hoarse
That burns like whipping dirt
Blowing about this barren desert.
It used to come in fits
Where I’d collapse in imagined euphoria
I had never before experienced.
My dreams lay me still here,
Though I cry out
With the neighbours howling hound,
As singing awaits
Within the embers of my soul
My fire remain unconvinced
That this landscape
Deserves such escape.
Let me love you like I can
Hand full on at a time
To let me find you in the sky
Driving for between your thighs
Fast is the main emotion
That hits me straight on in the heart
Where you often spend your days
Driving through my fertile soil
Let me love you like I can
For every day I lay awake
Fevering with a full desire
To hold a nightlight to your fire
With the arrow of my vision
Feel these flung straight on to you
I have but one main ambition
Baby I’m on to this fruition
I don’t know how to say I love you
Without loving you entirely, Lisa
I pace back and forth in my room
Questioning myself like a mathematician
Struggling out the answer to
A deepened understanding.
Some days it’s ok, I can love you
Without desiring the distance we’ve never had,
The whisper in your ear,
The smile that finds your lips
Too close to mine for latent desire
Stirring within the very breath I take.
So I love you with trembling fingers
Tentatively resisting your jungleness,
I love you though I’m calculating
With a pen I’m expertly etching
A solution to you entirely open
On a boat in the great wide ocean.
I’m not trying to let you down
No, this isn’t me leading you
This isn’t a game
Where I roll the dice,
Make the calls
And you follow
Anxiously trying to grasp
The next move
To believe you had made
The better choice.
I’m here to talk to you,
To bite first upon your supple skin
To hold your hand
As we take each other higher
Upon the path of our desires
That anxiously awaits
To share our stories,
That believes so effortlessly
We have a reason to live
In servitude for each other,
While remaining unbelievably strong
In our hearts
So we can fully grasp hold
Of our purest magnitude,
Giving freely the most valuable asset
Of my heart.