Let me loose
The river is long
Tides are turning
Each breaker I can see up ahead
Rolls like wind
Grasps at stars
To depths below
I can’t see.
I don’t know how to tell you I love you anymore
For every way I know of has been told.
There’s no light I haven’t seen you amicably in,
No space I haven’t felt your soul in,
No memory I haven’t found
Where I’d thought you don’t belong
And my song’s always filled with your name.
But the days that pass
Are filled with an unmistakable void
That is you not being here by my side
Which silences my song to every corner of my world
And hurts me like a dying star should.
Where do I go to feel my sorrow
That hasn’t already been felt deeply so?
What path can I take that leads me astray
To a new thought upon a new day?
Where are your words that paint me pictures
Of what keeps you far off, away
To put my mind in an infinite at ease
And understanding of what furrows my brow?
So I tarry and wander
With my hands buried deep
Shaking off the cold inferno,
With my voice, hardly shaking
Reminding me always
That it’s you whom I love
So come close.
I wondered lonely as a dog
And pointing to the stars.
A clump of grass
That has a faint scent
Now been marked
By my descent.
A marking of
A wild animal
Caused me to stay
A little while.
I find a path
So straightened that
I did not tarry,
Zig zag was
The route I led
One paw two paw
Three paw four,
Little tracks waiting
Out the door.
I’m resting in a pool of blood
Taken my very veins
No longer am the man I was
Lost and listless thus I lay.
Once I had dreams so high
Freedom wasn’t just a word
But way of life we embraced truly
From choices we made every day
And a mindspace free of ads.
We called our neighbour each by name
With smiles so friendly we meant
And let our hair go wildly long
A symbol of better days spent.
And in our work, we called none work
For we smiled as we took our crafts
Each craftsman became their tools
Towards a need fulfilled.
We lost this great desire for grandeur
This misleading pretense
Veiling over all of humanity
Since human has become ruled
By magnetic storage and liquid display.
We lost grandeur
And picked up gravitas
Our guiding star
Hands to our hammers.
But now, says I in earnest,
Laying in my pool of blood,
What hath become of mine choice?
So tenderly awake no more.
I wrote a letter calling home
From 2000 kilometers away
Wishing all that read out loud
A happy day as well.
For I was writing from a home
I’d found out on the road
With a companion I knew by name
She smiled at me knowing so.
She wished me a goodnight each night
Just as I shared with her the stars
That made our night sky so bright.
I wrote home telling them all there
I wouldn’t be home as I’d said,
For I was lost into her arms
Just as I’d hoped I would.
But not to worry about me more
I’d be along in due time
For many plans still waited for me
Many tools still called my name,
Many hours at what I yearned to do
Would soon be my willing hand.
A game against the marshy stars
Took me here to revel in patience
For in the stars beats many hearts
Long forgotten and passed away.
But to my open heart they pass
No longer grasping at the past
But into a moment of peace
They look for what they’ve sought.
Can you run, can you speed,
Can you live my heartstring beat,
Can you pass me from my emptiness
To the great transmission home.
I don’t know how to tell you
That I see stars inside your eyes.
Every time I watch those stars
A galaxy opens up for me
That spins and whirls
And ignites with life;
Burning orbs in orbit.
And in those eyes
I’m met with joy
Such that astounds my every moment
Like a little cat jumping around
Playing amidst daylight’s echo.
I’ve searched for words
And folded my letters
To find the galaxy I sought to describe,
But in doing so
I’ve learned so well
That no mortal man
What woman holds in her hand.
I awoke into a starry night
And asked the voices singing me
Hold my hand, I am softly sentient
Delicate in harmony,
Floating on a midnight mist.
Open me to solve this mystery
So longing at my tender chest,
Your touch here upon my heart
Flutters for me so peacefully.
Then, just as gently as they came
Voices sang me right to sleep
And in my dreams I found them there
Lightly dancing in the air.
I wondered how many stars could align
How many mistakes I could ever make
I wondered if there was any way in the world
I could ever make sense of what I could not learn.
I wondered if there was beautiful symmetry
In the colours that lay upon Bumble Bees back
I wondered if Tree had the consciousness
To let out its needles and drop all its leaves.
I wondered how Weeds felt blowing in the wind
I wondered how Evening felt always chasing the day
I wondered how Birds felt calling out in vain
And on everything dust settles like snow and the rain.
I don’t walk with a swagger
I’m not a callused hand
I don’t wish for stars
Or four leaf clovers
I sing with a guitar that holds a tune
But my voice is held under water
In a rusty tin can
So I sleep in a cold corner
With a sore back on my side
I run out of gas
When I’m driving too fast
And my knives all go blunt
So my pencils aren’t sharp
But I’m still trying hard
To grow something again