I’m gone
It has taken me a while
But I sit here
Gone
Watching the elongating
Aloe vera leaves
Reach
So far from the road
That once brought me here.
I’m gone
My path long overwritten
Slight smile
Of downtrodden blades
And the omnipresent moss
Setting it’s tangles
Deeper than I can ever watch.
I’m gone
Noises from the party
Barely audible
Where my anxiety levels
Scream
An inability to be present
Sits waiting in blades of grass
I walk amongst alone.
(part X)
When people smiled
They were unsure if it was safe to smile
When people gathered
They were unsure if it was safe to gather
When people talked
They were unsure whether it was safe
To hear the very words
Their neighbour was saying.
They started to look for ways
That their neighbour wasn’t being safe
And they started to police themselves
Based on the latest fake news source.
And fake news there was
Rooted in Fear
Based on misleading facts
Taken out of context.
Social Media, online and web based platforms
Began policing specific keywords
Not allowing people to speak openly
About more and more topics.
It became an act of pride
To tell the viewing eyes
The listening ears
What sorts of methods of filtering
Of curating
Fear driven World was using
And people actually looked for this
Because they had learned
From the Fear
That thinking for oneself
Wasn’t safe any more.
(part XII)
I never noticed your smiles at me
Though I’m sure they were there
They trickle down from a memory
Often bringing a smile to my own face.
I wonder if I do that in my own right now,
I’m of an age where I am no longer youngest
No longer subject to freedoms of fancy.
I know that often you weren’t just idle
Watching and enjoying the moments
You kept busy, kept active, kept thinking
No matter the occasion
So that perhaps your moments of observation
Weren’t so lingering after all
Were they longing?
Instead filled with conversation
And little tasks
To keep you busy against the time
That aging tends to lead one towards.
This is the new normal
No handshake, no smile.
This is the new normal
Lineups with seperation
And stickers on the ground
Telling me which way to walk
Where to stand.
This is the new normal
Where by law
We are no longer able
To gather in groups
More than fingers on my hand.
This is the new normal
Where social distancing
And isolation
Are words of our common vocabulary.
This is the new normal
Where walking down the street
Closer than two meters
To a passing stranger
We get anxiety
That this stranger just might
Transmit to us
An unseen death card.
This is the new normal
Where government declares
A business can no longer stay open.
This is the new normal
Where humans no longer have
Medicine men and women
Available to help
Because their knowledge
Relies on the antidote.
This is the new normal
Where I pay a bank monthly
To hold onto my money
I have saved from spending
And told that method is safer
Than guarding it with my own life,
And that money
Is better in digital plastic
Infused and inflated
By central banks at will.
This is the new normal
Where the government
Of my home country
Feels the safety and security
Of its citizens
Comes after the solvency
Of its biggest industries.
This is the new normal
And we must resist.
This speaks to my soul.
It wrenches me away from my
Remedial tasks,
Though they still linger
As if towed by my line.
But for me,
It is not the end
I wish to be speaking of,
But rather
The it is the Great Guest
That enters into my generosity
Who challenges my inner momentum
And rests knowing
They have sat here
Smiling at me.
I wrote a letter calling home
From 2000 kilometers away
Wishing all that read out loud
A happy day as well.
For I was writing from a home
I’d found out on the road
With a companion I knew by name
She smiled at me knowing so.
She wished me a goodnight each night
Just as I shared with her the stars
That made our night sky so bright.
I wrote home telling them all there
I wouldn’t be home as I’d said,
For I was lost into her arms
Just as I’d hoped I would.
But not to worry about me more
I’d be along in due time
For many plans still waited for me
Many tools still called my name,
Many hours at what I yearned to do
Would soon be my willing hand.
My memory woke me up;
Two dollars and loose strings
Attached to each of my morals
Dangling cheaply
To the tune of a Tom Waits album
On repeat.
I’ve gone over the top again,
My finger jammed
Into some random container
Taking up space
On my single seated table.
Two young girls
Giggled in the corner
But quickly remembered where they were,
Checked their long blonde hair
And checked their phones
Together.
Tomorrow I’ll be here again,
I’ll wear my eagle belt buckle
That reminds me
I’m more than two dollars
On the good days,
And ask the waitress
With the good smile
To kindly take this container away
For it’s killin’ my mood, man.
When you’re at the tip
I hear you there
Gently stirring in my ear
For you to be a smile in me
Letters on my heart.
Rainbows caught me smiling a tune
Ruthless and vicious grumbling moon
Habits and rituals that cast spells
Rituals upon my inner walls
Calling out I glean my love
And scrape it down my leg
So there it is, my whisper, my tune
Which I can declare out loud
Standing humbly here.
She was ratcheting herself
To the tune of my beat
A goal and a dream
Sideways and twisted
And in the tangles
Amongst the flowers
A smile about her lips
As her fingers grasped tighter.