My Suffering

I am not a descendant
Neither an ancestor
I walk only
Upon land un-owned
I hear voices
That I may not know
And recognize patterns
Inside my zone
That don’t jive
With my dreams and goals.

So then shall I be reborn?
Shall I find within me
The God I shall be?
Listening and believing
Actions and ideals
In perfect synchronicity?

My barefeet stumble,
My pattern outlayed.
But I still step softly
In spite the growing
Disillusionment
Bearing down upon my
Alighted brow
So that this God in me
Is the God that you see
And my suffering
Is not the God that shall be
In you.

Alone, Within

I believed in you more as an Oracle
Tongue tied and misery
A vision of perfection
I could not attain alone.

What does it mean to be alone?

I have clouds that tell me history’s greatest moments,
And flowers that share with me great healing.
I have sheep that teach me what patience is,
And goats who are with my to play,
Dogs who speak as they are my best friends,
And cats who are my ancestors.

Alone is a construct
Just as freedom and atomic are.
Just as balance and beauty claim to be.
I am not alone if I keep my eyes open,
My heart open, my ears open.
I am not alone if I am welcoming
And I am not alone if I am one.

What does it mean to be alone
Within one’s self?
Did you find it in full Lotus,
Or Tadasana?

Don’t ask if you can sit with me
For you have sat down here long ago.
I believed in you more as an Oracle
Than a maiden who has lived clear through it all,
Answering all questions with wisdom
I’ve read in ancient books,
As if your born again Nirvana
Is leading me on your path to my own.

I’m unruly,
And this is my own.
I smear my own self along pages
Just long enough
To clear blot my way to
Unsensible un-reasoning,
So that all I need is an Oracle:
A busy sign post with one flashing light.
But all I’ve got is a schoolbus,
Flashing lights of warning,
Danger signals of distance,
Red signs to Stop,
And a safety seat with a seat belt
That doesnt bump too much
As wheels turn
And this bus driver
Takes me further within.

I’m Interested

I’m interested, like the moon is interested in a ruksack.

Take me home, take me there, I want to see where you were made. And I’ll bring my spare tire so I don’t get stuck along the way, because I know a Legend of Boulders that weigh the most upon the road.

But after twilight, after my omnipotent vision among Cassiopeia disperses with Sun’s warmth and glow, I’ll still be looking to the sky, watching for each bomb to blow, each shifting sliver of this silver moon as it orbits slight off of thirty one.

I’m interested. I want to hear the whistle, for without the whistle, I know not who treads there though I’ve heard the Legend told here.

Fermented Madness

I awoke into my madness
Blind, awake
Lifeless but my breath
And all around me spanned vines
Crawling amidst my thoughts
Scaling trees
Leaving me a gnarled world
As if each fruit I picked.
Dreaming as I lay awake
Of fermented terroir
Calmly settling inside the vice
A cork upon thy voice.
Can sweet time carry a vision?
Can it send me notes?
For not too soon shall I carry home
What lay me into madness.

Ohana

Take me back there
Waterfalls and tropical foliage
Reverberating along my spine
Soaked with sweat
A deep summer hike
Wearing my clean eyes
And high tides.
I jumped
Like you jumped
Into the deepness there.
A riverbend
An oceanscape
A photograph I’ll always take
That had my ride
In shotgun
Prana, Ohana, sun.
And on the way home
Pure darkness
I had my imagination
Remembering
What I had not seen
A sloping hill
Into the open sea
Around the bend
And horse stables
Wild as I’ve never been free.
Don’t take me back to misery
I’m here with you now,
I am a dusty road sign
Still signalling the way
Upon a path
I know by heart
Ohana I’m on my way.

A New Mind

Windows took my heart
And told me to walk slow
Down a dusty path
That never ended
Into the glow.

I walked until I stopped
Took two deep breaths
Of fresh air
Saw a raven whisper thoughts
I could faintly hear.

With all my strength
I took a step
Leading me away
And forth I went
With a new mind
Gallantly aflame.

Moon And By Sun

I am drained of life
Though calming gray Moon
Shines full into my vision.

My mornings wake
With such vast opportunity
Yet I slouch my way
Into an odyssey;
Blurring noises
From Nature’s highway
Busy outside my open window.

This tea alerts me
It brings my senses
Towards the front of my tongue
So that I can find my voice
Rescued from the deep depths
Of a tortuous night.

And here, upon my tongue
A caress felt within my memory
Time spent in my youth
Unabided,
For Spring spirit in Summer Sun
Reaches no Plymouth too soon,
And this warm milk and honey
Resting on my lips
Shall be enveloped by
Moon and by Sun.

Another Vision

I want to take on a new vision
One where this doesn’t exist
None of this exists
Everything is different.

I sit here in darkness
A dream room
Slightly out of center
Upon a small patch
Of well used rug
Reminiscing on moments
Of movement
How it integrates
Asking myself what is important
So that I can keep
Peace of mind
Peace in my pipe song.

My mind dances
My soul ignites
My senses tingle
Slight breeze
Upon my naked chest
But my blood remains
Pounding deep within my heart
So that I can hear
Each word I cannot speak.

This is my vision
And it escapes
A misunderstood truth
That was lost
As roads paved their way
Across a land
That was not land to be paved.
How many years lost?
Death of a mind,
Visions forgotten,
Self elapsed,
And me, left alone
Upon each moment of dark
A life vanishes
In preparation
For another to take time
Away from a no-one home
Of another vision.

Then as smoke erupts
Stepping stones
Take their heart
Into a vision
That holds tall grace
Of an ancient spruce
Standing in my heart
So I can be forever
And gone
Un-vision.