Wishing on me tonight,
Lamp light and electric steps
Don’t forget wishing in the sky
Dreaming like you and I,
Waves of magic filling
These golden eyes
That blur at edges
Compressing the turmoil silent.
Why am I condemned to something I cannot feel
I cannot arise
For in gold there erodes depths of cast
My hands have dried and begun to fade.
There is something that has grown
Not allowed to pursue
A lingering touch held too long.
Day at once ends
Cold sets in
Song remains silent
Heart enters slumber.
You sing for me nightly
With your silent tune
Playing on repeat;
My fullest moon.
What sways in the ocean
And lets me cocoon?
What holds out
Your hand for touch?
What holds you to me?
What makes you so shine bright,
For in you I see me
As I desire to be,
No matter the hardship
Sailing across seas.
And in you I see what
Makes warm ocean air.
But your song after dark sets
Holds me so dear,
Do you hear me responding
Do you hear me so near?
There’s a funny bone in my heart
That keeps twitching when I wake
When I’m alone at the start of days
Trying to understand
What took you from my open hands
To the rocks outside my door
And every one I see out there
Says the same thing back to me
A blankness that hadn’t yet been made
Close spirits in the sky
That rumble back and forth aloud
Language I cannot translate
That takes me back to my awake
So silent here I cry.
I am gone in the order of gratitude
Baked cookies and a overflowing milkshake
Beans for supper but hold the pudding
I’m watching the stars go around again
But Polaris makes me spin around
This collaboration expanding in an exhaust of pain
For a two letter word in a five tree forest
Begun the path, no return
Running silently I empty each bag
Carried for so long, straps begun worn
And something thus calls me, standing I’m alert
Hollering and hollering, Thusurathar
Name me again, gratitude remains.
Where did you come from?
I wrote letters for years
That remained unanswered
To addresses I didn’t recognize.
Every one of them I’d sign
With my most magnificent signature
I’d spent weeks crafting.
But you remained silent,
And I remained hopeful
And you remained a mystery
That my dreams kept believing in,
Craftfully twisting into
My perfect romantic interest
Until one day, awaiting at my door
Was a letter returned
With a signature I didn’t remember
That had been marked upon a letter
I didn’t remember I wrote.
It is not a fair game for you
Hearts bleed unceremoniously
Destruction forever forcing you
While you are wondering why you?
“Why must our people feel this?”
“Why has this been for me?”
“Why can the others not see?”
“Who is here for me?”
Though many know what life is for you
Though your people value you
The world forgets you
Telling you silently
No place is safe for you
For your bloodline spills unceremoniously
Though fires flood each embankment
Left, blowing over you
Calling out your named ancestors
Forever running after you
Filling your chest with empowerment
With a fair game for you with you.
~ written for the oppressed peoples of the world
Does this mean I love you?
Do your choices reflect my state of being
Or do I reflect your changing heart?
Do I passively deflect your approaches
Or do I embrace your movement of my heart strings?
For in these silent hours beside the fire
I have learned I cannot change
The heart which has affected me
Upon each midnight frame.
So then, I remind myself,
I am to be leftover in
Each moment evermore;
A fan until the end of which
I cannot say out loud,
But only in my searching eyes
I see the answer again.