Passive Deflection (day 2622)

Does this mean I love you?
Do your choices reflect my state of being
Or do I reflect your changing heart?
Do I passively deflect your approaches
Or do I embrace your movement of my heart strings?
For in these silent hours beside the fire
I have learned I cannot change
The heart which has affected me
Upon each midnight frame.
So then, I remind myself,
I am to be leftover in
Each moment evermore;
A fan until the end of which
I cannot say out loud,
But only in my searching eyes
I see the answer again.

Hold Me Back (day 2469)

I danced to remember a feeling I had
While roaming alone on Pier Twenty One
Music so hypnotic I had hardly known
Whose eyes I had met with, feverish tone
At first it was silent, the music inside
Spotlight extended to one single soul
Hair twisting sideways each time it lasted
Steps that soon took my heartbeat along
Hands that soon felt for my returning heat
I’m sure that we danced here, but all I remember
Is the way that her eyes would instantly flash
A smile that would curl from the side of her eyes
That took on a new beat erupting inside
And the night ran away as we danced, now, along
To instincts we found in a feeling we now had.

Silent Back Support (day 2405)

When are you going to turn the music back on?
I’ve sat her for a while now
Wondering to myself
Should I suggest a new album
Or enjoy the silent humming
Visiting my ouroboros thought pattern.
I picture something with a nice bassline
Hopefully some creamy smooth lead
That will do a better job
Of snaking my thoughts around
Too many small stools
Lacking proper back support.

Each Torrent (day 2177)

Wisdom calls in the elements
And smiles to each torrent and fury
Wisdom tramples upon no minion
Takes no weakened arrow
And pulls no tender feather
Wisdom spews no fallacy
Nor isolates convenient truths
Wisdom sweeps no dirt
Under our very own beds
Wisdom holds space
For every voice to share
And walks hand in hand
To the center of the square
A march of justice
With a silent peace flag
Wisdom charges the air
With truth and an open heart.

Inevitable Spring (day 2099)

My inevitable spring
Slopes Eastward from here
Awakened by long train stops
Eclipsing my moon
Which cannot bare to withhold
Another day without you
But without silent winter
I cannot let go of autumn
So carefully pruned
As knitters of cocoons
Lay under aurora borealis
To watch Icarus
Climb as a nighthawk
Like my midnight winter moon
Alone again
Lost in a scape of twinkling
And gravitas bound.

Moon at Midnight – Part XVIII (day 1992)

part XVII

Moon Cow and I talked about me staying with them for the winter
He asked Mountain Chief how he felt about this
And as him and I had already developed a good relationship
Mountain Chief had no objections
I would stay in Moon Cow’s teepee
Until the spring
There was plenty of space for him and I to share.

I became fascinated with bow and arrows
And would spend most days with some of the young Scouts
Trying to learn off of them
How to shoot, get good
Moon Cow at first lent me his bow
But then him and I went out and found the wood
To make one for myself
Moon Cow was known for his ability
To make tools
And one of his main parts in his family
Was to make bows and arrows
So he was able to show me exactly how to pick the right bow
And how to fashion it down to work for survival
With the arrows we also made together.

It was quite a thrill the first day
I provided dinner for Moon Cow, Lily and Willow
Willow had made Lily clean and comb her hair
And they treated me as if I were their chief
I also did my best to try and clean myself in the brook
Willow brought some delicious vegetables
That were very quickly eaten
The whole meal there we sat
All four of us looking at the other
And laughing as we ate around the fire.

The moon was out and Willow and me
Went to the brook to wash off the meal
By this time, Willow was remembering some of the English
She and Moon Cow had learned together
That she had said she had long forgotten
So we were able to have a little conversation
With the broken Pikanii I had learned so far
We sat by the brook talking for a long time
I asked her where Lily’s father was
She told me he had been killed many moons ago
With a bit of a sad face
Then explained to me that already being a mother
Wasn’t approved of, and she became
Even more saddened by this as she tried to explain to me
How she was trying not to be a burden to her people
Learning valuable foods that she could contribute
To the family.

And then I kissed her
Lightly, but I felt her gasp a bit
I took a moment to see into her eyes
The reflection of the moon showed me her wolf
We walked back silently
Nearly touching each other the whole way.

day XIX

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Moon at Midnight – Part VI (day 1980)

(part V)

As my footsteps changed slope from uphill to downhill
I crested into a new valley
It was a particularly notable valley cresting
For the view I was afforded stretched from tip to bow
At the far end I could see a tail of smoke rising steady
Hovering for some time at the cloud line
Making its ever looming presence felt
As I looked down and stepped between the pebbles
Dodging in and out of the single-path trail I had been following.

My memory floated back to a woman I once had known
A woman whose smile touched the very essence of a man
Changing him instantly to a friend, forever
I had last seen her walking out of the tack store
In preparation to depart with a fresh pack of jerky
And enough rice to keep me a while,
She had asked where I was off to
And I told her what had honestly come to mind
I shared with her my dream of this land
With leaves the size of a horses head
With trees that bled sugar and turned as red as wine
She looked at me and shaked her head
Scolding that all us men ever want is our devil juice
I explained to her it wasn’t so,
She smiled and knew she was scolding the wrong man
I asked her if she would like to join me
An honest man on an honest journey
To a land beyond, to the East
But she had only replied in jest
Saying: “Honey, I’ve got too many mouths to feed.”

I started at a cracking branch
To my left, not 7 meters away,
I looked and staring back at me
Was a moose, hovering way above my head
He was looking straight at me
Antlers standing so tall and proud
Chewing on a tuft of a shrub
That hung down from the left side of his mouth
He snorted softly as he stared at me
Demanding I respect his space
I nodded back, gave a grunt
And quickly scanned the nearby forest
For any signs of a calf around.

My footstep didn’t stop
Rather, they kept along the trail I went
My heart beating loudly in my cool breath
The words of many an elder echoed in my mind:
“Moose are more aggressive then bears.”
I instinctively touched the blade
That rested at my hip
Foolish to think that such a weapon
Could disengage such a large beast so strong
I couldn’t feel the beast charging
Though I looked to check just in case.

I didn’t relax until I was over the next bend
Which didn’t take long to get
The familiar sound of a creek returned to my ears
No longer wise words warning and uncontrolled heartbeat
Echoing through my every breath
I softly observed the old man’s beard
Growing thicker as I descended into the valley below
Moss crawling higher up trunks of the silent giants
Experienced woods folk always say
That the birds will all be silent when there’s a predator around
So the light whistling of the forest’s inhabitants
The unique call of a raven
Calmed my senses once again.

When I reached a small opening
I dipped my hands in and splashed the fresh creek’s water
To my face, to wash the cold sweat that had gathered
I recognized bear droppings
A short distance from where I sat to rest
Looking at least a week old now
No danger for me, at least for the present
But a sign that they are around
And perhaps some tasty berries, too.

part VII

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Just Maybe (day 1751)

I don’t want a perfect you.
I don’t want an imagination
Resting on commercialized ideals
And mis-spent laments.
No.
I want your messiness and chaos
And moments that urk me,
And crazy eyes and silent times
And hugs that will never end
Because forever is a time
I will be left thinking of you.
And just maybe,
If I count my lucky stars enough,
I will be right there
Next to you,
Smiling,
Winding my clock backwards
Elongating time to expand
These moments that make up you.

Jamie Lee Mock - Ned Tobin - Urban Sunshine
model: Jamie Lee Mock of The Fresh Method and Moonbrew Tonic