This is my closed feeling
And I want to race
I want to hurry and blur
Each time I hear the call
With an exclamation point
That rumors of peace.
But not a grace peace,
A peace made of flowers
And ocean air hitting hot sand
Where I’m closing my eyes
To all but my closed feelings.
I am sad
For I have not closed my door,
I have left it open to the world
That climbs and claws
To its desired height.
And my skin has begun to bleed
Where once it was supple
In rash and scale,
I am sad
And my glasses haven’t fit
Since I sat boldly
At the ocean’s edge
Wishing I didn’t feel this pain
And could not see
You sing for me nightly
With your silent tune
Playing on repeat;
My fullest moon.
What sways in the ocean
And lets me cocoon?
What holds out
Your hand for touch?
What holds you to me?
What makes you so shine bright,
For in you I see me
As I desire to be,
No matter the hardship
Sailing across seas.
And in you I see what
Makes warm ocean air.
But your song after dark sets
Holds me so dear,
Do you hear me responding
Do you hear me so near?
This did not grow up as a chemical
We were legs and arms that took too long
But that’s the end of a string
I didn’t bring nor did I sing
But I stood there like sweet nicotine
With salt between my fingertips
That had a history of danger
So take my hand that’s never left
Joking in my Sunday best
Take me on a pleasure ride
Along the hidden tide of your good time
Take me to the ocean rise
With your breasts and lips so sensitive
Catch me in an open book
That reads like the sweet look
You’ve given to me, carrying me
Roads to anywhere that lead me to harmony
For I’m taken here with you
And I’m resting on a rock
In the middle of my thoughts
With you and a dog that took me along
Have you seen what hides in the field
What grows in between, down on the ground
My tidy shoes and a singing guitar
Take me along.
There were motions that took me far away
A seaside that had me lost deep in time
For I knew there was an answer I’d yet to hear.
I cried and I cried yet there came not a sound
Once what had driven me to stand so proud
With a lesson I had learnt but had not yet changed my ways for.
Can you give me your truth in Providence
Stars that align, suns that remain,
There could be a vision and my eyes are blurred of everything near.
When was the last time I dimmed lights and sang
Forever seems like such a shallow excuse
Broken down and believing in so much more, I whispered here upon the Northern Shore.
Sing to me Ocean, sing me a song
Play with me every violin I’ve done wrong
Feel for me with your distance, no, I’ve never been here, never been here before.
As my eyes close I hold you up.
As my heart dies so goes my soul.
At my window I see no more, no more.
Along the shore I go, no more, no more.
For you to begin
Means life can begin
Means your open waves
Flush out our open growth
Greenery, life, bounty
Aglow in the mist of it all
Where wildflowers grow
Where rivers flow
Mountain passes erode and expose
New meaningful branches
That drip drops pulse
Of your giving force
To flood river deltas
That give to each ocean
What was once so far
Only to begin again
The cycle of evaporation,
I opened up my window to see
Full moon at my scape,
Emotion flowed from my lips
Leading me into night.
I found a letter on my mind
That began to ring so true
Aligning with my intentions
I had thought through and through.
I roused my warrior to a sweat
How could we lead otherwise!
And into night we danced our dance
For intentioning our life.
Beginning as a quiet chant
Roused by midnight firelight
Spiraling towards the moon
As rivers go on to ocean.
I swallowed in the moon
With ten thousand breaths
Tomorrow to wake again
Bound on my path.
I don’t know how to say I love you
Without loving you entirely, Lisa
I pace back and forth in my room
Questioning myself like a mathematician
Struggling out the answer to
A deepened understanding.
Some days it’s ok, I can love you
Without desiring the distance we’ve never had,
The whisper in your ear,
The smile that finds your lips
Too close to mine for latent desire
Stirring within the very breath I take.
So I love you with trembling fingers
Tentatively resisting your jungleness,
I love you though I’m calculating
With a pen I’m expertly etching
A solution to you entirely open
On a boat in the great wide ocean.