Category: love

Moon at Midnight – Part XXII (day 1996)

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(part XXI)

This was my new family
My life became so entwined with them
Every day for me was filled
With compassion I had never experienced before
Not even living at home with my Irish parents
Who set the fire at 4:15 every night
There were other people that involved themselves in our life
But they had their own things
And I had for the most part
Already been completely welcomed into the family.

I took Willow and Lily with me to see Amy, Frank, and Clarinet
Who were at first beside themselves with joy
That I had found myself a wife
And then flustered with how to celebrate
The special event with us,
Because of the communication we had developed
They were able to talk with us
And only some of the time Willow would lean on me
Asking what they had just meant
But she was never-the-less shy
About meeting White people
And didn’t quite know how to act
Or what to do in a social setting like this with them.

When we were on our way home
Winding through a path that was now familiar
I asked Willow how she had liked Amy & Frank
She said: “Amy very beautiful, Frank very clean.”
I laughed a good long time
After hearing this
In spite her questioning: “What? What?”
I couldn’t stop my laughter
And couldn’t get enough of this woman who loved me
I asked her how she liked their home
Wooden walls, and rocking chairs
And a steel fireplace to burn wood in
She looked at me and said straight:
“Joe, not us.”

At that moment
My passion for her blossomed
Into a thousand year old tree
Her honesty and immediate awareness of it
Made me understand one of her truest qualities
Willow looked at me
And I looked at her
And Lily, behind Willow, looked at me
And for nearly the whole ride home
I could hardly contain myself
From devouring with passion
The entire essence of Willow
Her full beauty as a strong Woman
Who had chosen to share space
With me, a dusty traveler,
And every time I looked at Lily
Bundled in tightly behind Willow with sleepy eyes
I burst into laughter I never knew I had.

When we arrived home
And put Lily to sleep
We walked down to the river’s edge
Where we had first kissed
And sat for a long time
Together, under blankets
Watching as the moon slowly made its arch
High up into the Autumn sky,
There were no words that needed to be said
Because we spoke so fluently in silence
And we leaned backwards
Falling into the web above
Twinkling back at us in dreams,
Sharing every secret we ever had.

part XXIII

Moon at Midnight – Part XXI (day 1995)

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part XX

At first it was hard to communicate with Willow
But we were inseparable
And we learned each other’s words
That helped us communicate
And what we lacked in spoken word
We made up for in body language
I hadn’t known many women in my time,
More familiar with an axe and squirrels,
But I learned Willow every way I could.

I learned how she hummed almost inaudibly
Before she woke me up
Dancing her fingers lightly over my sleeping body
As if they were sunlight
Warming my mind to the day;
I learned how her eyes looked shocked and innocent
When she couldn’t understand the words
I would excitedly share with her;
I learned her various routines
That announced each changing rhythm of the day;
I learned how much of a teacher
She was to Lily
Taking every moment she could to share
Her wisdom to her only child
With just the right enough patience
Matched with enough urgency
To encourage the blossoming child
To remember the things she must to survive.

I learned how she played with me
And laughed at my seriousness
She would push me to delay
In spots I hadn’t noticed in my hurry
Instantly draining whatever burden
I had riding about my shoulders
I learned her mischievous smile
When she would want me as her lover
And how she would lose all control
As she leaned her head back to my caress
Eager to remain entwined
Lost in the clutches of love.

Lily’s eyes would always grow larger
When she observed moments of our love
I knew that her adolescent crush
Wouldn’t let her sleep at night,
When Willow and I would share our passion
She seemed happier
Clearly part of her mothers spirit
That always sought to see happiness
In those around her
She would help as we learned to communicate as a family
Each playing a guessing game
That we became very accurate at
The more we learned each others’ rhythms.

part XXII

Moon at Midnight – Part XX (day 1994)

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(day XIX)

I slipped in to camp quietly
And set the horse loose
Moon Cow was sitting outside his teepee
Waiting for me
And as I sat down next to him
He handed me a blanket
And asked if I had stopped to watch the sunset
I told him it had changed my life
And he nodded silently
Taking a long inhale on his tobacco pipe
And handing it to me.

“What will you do?” he asked
Pointing to the moon
I knew he meant my heart
I fished out my little arrow
From my breast pocket
And told him that everything was already answered
And that I was still staying the winter
If I was still welcome in his home
He said I was always welcome in his teepee
Unless he had a girlfriend
Joking a little bit at the white man’s ways
Then he nodded towards his sister’s teepee
“She is expecting you now.”
I looked and noticed
That Willow was standing with her door open
Firelight dancing along the grass
As she looked straight at me
I walked over holding her gaze.

She held the door open for me
And when I reached her
Stepping to go past
Into the warmth of her teepee for the first time
She reached out her hand
And touched my forearm
To look me in the eyes
Learning the story of my soul
I looked back into hers
And gave her the story of my soul
And I gave her my soul
When she had learned it
I reached out and touched her
And pulled her closer to me
And held her there
For a very long time.

When she looked up
She had tears in her eyes
And said to me:
“I am yours now.”
And I looked her in the eye
And said as clearly as I could,
“Willow, I want to share my life with you
I want to provide for you
I want to protect you
I want to grow stronger with you
I want to bed with you.”
And she smiled her Wild Willow smile
And said again:
“I am yours now.”
And I repeated back to her
“I am yours now, too.”

This time she leaned in to kiss me
And I kissed her back
Until I heard a noise
Coming from inside the teepee
And I looked over
And it was Lily River
Smiling back at us
With her big eyes of joy
We all broke into happy laughter together
And Willow invited me to sit down next to her
On her bedding
And Lily brought us two cups of tea.

day XXI

I Am Not Sorry (day 1974)

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Your choice is my misunderstanding
And for that I am sorry
Your past experience is my current overstepping
And for that I am sorry
Your love is my overwhelming
And for that I am sorry
Your human is my object of admiration
And for that I am sorry
Your patience is my forever questioning
And for that I am sorry
Your vision is my deep desiring
And for that I am sorry
Your time is forever my story
And for that I am sorry
Your absence is my sit and worry
And for that I am sorry
Your journey is my wildest dream
And for that I am sorry
Your heartbeat is my symphony
And for that I am sorry
Your light steps is my pitter-patter
And for that I am sorry
Your sleeping lips are my favorite dream
And for that I am sorry
Your calmest question is my quickest help
And for that I am sorry
Your silence is my sentence
And for that I am sorry

But my love, no, for my love
Which I will not delay
For that I am not sorry

Fog Horn (day 1969)

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Where were you?
Alone at last and one day you will see
That my attempts to make things pass differently
Will go un-answered, un-fooled,
Soundscapes passing by my tender touches
In an envelope neatly packed so.
A heavy rain left my sweet flowers
Like pillars of a ruin,
And tapping lightly culls my darkness –
A soft smile about my face.
Willow in the season of dying
Soothes a fog horn off my ragged coastline,
I whistle into the coming darkness:
Where do you lay your head tonight?

Megalith (day 1960)

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I could write out the sounds of a thousand butterflies,
Or hooves of ten blazing stallions;
I could impress the weight of three falling leaves,
Or hardness of one megalith;
I could fall to your feet in Roman respect,
Or your arrow you’ve sent on the run;
I could find every fruit in the garden of Autumn,
Or a reason to look far away;
I could let a simple dream drift off like a wish
But I’ll never let your heart away.

You’re Perfect (day 1958)

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When I say you’re perfect
I mean it from the whole of my essence
From my tingling toes
To each breath I excitedly (and deeply) inhale,
From my deepest lost fantasy
To each lightly placed finger tip
That crawls every imagination I’ve got.
Your perfection seeds my stillness
That captures me in your grace.
Your wrong is not a wrong,
Your wrong is effort in my eyes
That nurtures your blossom,
Imagination takes your fancy
And lifts your spirit,
Infecting me like a perfect vision,
A serpent,
A sun rising from the horizon
Inch by inch warming my open eyes
To the miracle of a new day.
Your perfection isn’t in your perfect action,
Or your perfect features,
Or your perfect voice or perfect success,
Your perfection lies within your being.
Your perfection lies within your effort
That dances as you know how to dance
Over obstacles and through conversations,
That listens and speaks and shares and fights
And bruises and hurts and feels and bites.
Perfection is you, not the sum of your doings,
It stays with you as you go,
And returns again tomorrow,
It follows you into your messiest of days
And shadows you as you run.
When I say that you’re perfect,
It doesn’t hinge on how you treat me
Or what you bring me as a gift,
It doesn’t depend on your generosity
Or how close you hold my hand,
No, I mean it without you even knowing me
And I mean it as you walk upon your path,
I mean it as you say goodbye
And wave me our last kiss.

lisa-2

Three Marks (day 1954)

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She rode the waves of mercy
Climbing with every swell
A Venus in every mystery
Searching the world round

She cried with every bit of
Excitement in the air
Like fireworks in her eyes
A flair inside her heart

She amplified the colours
That rose so bright at daybreak
In every exhale of her breath
More mountains rose to shine

She left three marks to show the way
In a maze of lost lagoons
For every star that awoke at night
Was here for her to stay