Category Archives: Sorrow

Rippling Madness (day 2098)

I woke into a fright
Although I had it under control
I charged ahead
I yelled out loud
My fierce was pounding lurch
For left into my rippling mass
A spearhead lodged between
My very fourth and fifth rib
Grazing my own beating heart
I looked into wild eyes
Victor of my battling stone
True friend in waking hours
Had become distant as a cloud
To which my heart that had beat for
Beat for nevermore.

Rippling Madness by Ned Tobin

My Little Layers (day 2095)

I was waiting for a dream
I had sent off in the mail
A letter to my name
That sadly never came.

But in all my little layers
I had followed to the sea
I waited for a crest
A wave upon my chest.

So there I sat atop the cliff
A bucket in my soul
Catching all the ether
Never held again by her.

I lifted up my downcast eyes
Horizon on my mind
A songbird came and sang to me
Carried me far off, out to sea.

Far Away (day 2089)

Walking past a darkened window
About my business of the day
I caught a glimpse deep inside
That sent me far away.

I shuddered at the thought upon
My furrowed brow, so cold
A memory of a locked trunk
I had believed far away.

Oh torment, why thou doth attack me
In my daily sugared tea
Leaves me holding secateurs
A photograph from far away.

There then rests thy saving grace
A cutout tacked to thee wall
A guillotine for my dancing fingers
Upon darkness far away.

Far Away by Ned Tobin

Thy Distant Wolf (day 2088)

Should ever
Thy heart take after wolf
Let thee rusting
Deconstruct me.

Lost Again (day 2077)

You have me in a heartache
Two singles at a time
One dying off into
Silence I’ve never heard
Two is another choice
That I’m leaving up to chance
One day will come again
At the crossroads
Where we’ll dance
And not a day shall pass until
I’ll have you lost again

Killed (day 2055)

I’m still sick
It’s weakening
Hold me back
Light me up
Fold me in
Sew me closed
And find me all the blank pages
To rewrite this love letter
So I can fall all over again
Into what I’ve killed away.

Every Star (day 2054)

I used to think about the night
I met you, streetlight
Long walks through midnight frost

And my left arm to my heart
Shooting star

So here’s my reflection in a pool
Dancing with pillows in my eyes
Shade my numbness with all that’s lost
And whisper to me softly
Just as every star.

Lapping Mind Shadows (day 2052)

Upon the dock I sat
Wishing, no,
Waiting for a charm
To fulfill my absence;
A lingering presence
Like lapping monotony
In waves of a silent pool,
Like an overgrown tree
Burgeoning against
My well worn mind,
Saddened,
Drawing figure eights
In shadows of every doubt.

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXXIV (day 2038)

part XXXXXXIII

“When I was young
My father would take Moon Cow and I to Plains
Same place every year
And we would sit in same spot
Watching great Buffalo
Migrate through
Dad would tell stories
Of previous hunts
Or legends his father had told him
Explaining to us where Buffalo came from
And why it had been given to us
Now, we no longer have Buffalo
That my father spoke of
And it saddens me that Lily River
Cannot sit here
Listening to your stories
Of where Buffalo comes from
And why we respect Buffalo
I don’t hate White Man for this
Though it is their doing
How could I hate the natural way of world
Speaking to us so?
We have shared this land many generations
Hopefully many more
But our people have always listened
Listened to stars, moon
Trees, rivers, creeks,
Coyotes howling at night
Those are Gods we take
And those are Gods who speak to us
So, too, shall we let Gods lead us now
In this time of change
For change is what we always have
Season to season
Moon to moon
We listen
And change led us here
How can I worry about change
So strong I feel in us now
change like we have never experienced
Land is changed now
It is not our family at war with other families
It is all of our families coming together
To find a way to stop big change White Man brings
Do you think there will ever be a time
When land has changed so much
No more Buffalo
Whole valley of Elk we see here
So vast and so plentiful
So many there are less trees in the forest
Do you think land will have
Buffalo no more
And Gun grows as plentiful
As Elk here before us?”

part XXXXXXV

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXX (day 2034)

(part XXXXXIX)

When Willow came back into the teepee
I knew instantly something was wrong
Actually, I think I knew before she came back in
But when she did
Just one look at her and I could tell that
Something horrible had just happened
Then I saw the blood
And she was incredibly pale
She fell into my arms
And I comforted her as we sat on the floor
She lightly sobbed in my shoulder.

I sent Lily over to get Mercy
When Mercy came in and saw Willow
She knew what had happened immediately
And began to comfort her
Mercy went and looked
To see what had come out
So we knew there was no immediate danger
But the bleeding still had to stop
And that was a worry.

By the next day,
Willow had stopped bleeding
And the colour was returning to her face
Though she was still sad and distant
We both were
I sat and lay with her a lot in those days
As she rested
And noticed her looking nowhere often
Something I had never seen her do before
She usually just stared at me
I think she didn’t understand my hair colour.

It was nice to have Lily around
To comfort her mother, too
She was a great little mother for us
I knew Willow had really wanted the baby
To prove more to her family
Then to me
That she wasn’t less then nothing
Since her first man had passed,
Something of pride,
But I also knew that Willow had so much to be proud of
One perfect example was Lily
Who silently provided for us
As we all comforted each other.

After five days of bed rest
I must have changed the rocks in her bed
Ten times a day
She enjoyed it, so I was happy
And she was looking much better
As was the cough nearly gone
I was happy to see
She meant the world to me
And we gave the little moccasins away
To Runs Wild’s wife
Who was now expecting a baby as well
They were both very happy to have them
And they were also very happy to see
Willow walking around and looking better.

part XXXXXXI