Stopping (day 2945)

My leaving held me to a candle
Where I swore but could not be heard
Callused, I learned a mannered derision
Falling slowly while walking
Heart worn and still spending
Danger amidst comfort
Finding I was working like a man
Field and the ploughs
Dark soil in each finger’s nail
And a candle to my brow
With no time for stopping.

Heard Walking (day 2208)

Out walking
To me, you were floating
Ethereal, from matter
Beside me in frame
But floating upon my mind
Never leaving my consciousness
For each step I wondered
Will she still follow?
Does she hear the same river I hear?
Has her heart heard mine now?
To which I remained in breath
An achingly lost lament
That followed my beating heart
Into a heart of softness
I still hoped for knowing.

Moon at Midnight – Part XII (day 1986)

(part XI)

It took me a long time to get over the loneliness I now felt
Each step was an effort of motivation
My heart wanting to turn around and embrace the kindness
But I knew I had to go on
I had kept their names in my pocket book
So I could write them
And they had also given me the address of some friends
That lived East, that I might come across
On my long journey.

The weather was starting to get colder
But still very early in Autumn
So I had quite a while to make it to where I was going
The question of where I was going
Did definitely come across my mind many times
And in conversation with Frank and Amy
I had learned the distances of some of the towns
I would be approaching as I made my way East
You know you’re getting close to a town
As trails become more worn
And paths get wider
Signs of civilization everywhere
From freshly knocked down trees to garbage thrown aside
Carelessly.

It was nice to be walking again
When a thin layer of sweat started to heat me
I remembered the little spots easily
That had so been tenderized by my pack and walking
Funny how so quick a body can forget
When it’s not being put to use
None of the pains I had felt working the axe
Inhibited my walking,
Though I instinctively reached for them
From time to time.

I spent most of the day walking at a rapid pace
Trying to get the most out of my peaceful mind
Still with a fresh set of feet and a bushy tail
I barely stopped for lunch
Just quickly finding a soft spot
And eating down the delicious food Amy had sent with me
I held a small piece of dried moose in my hand
As I walked, taking small bites and savoring the flavor
That made the edges of my mouth water uncontrollably
It reminded me of being a kid
And shredding dried jerky to put into our lips
As if we were chewing the real tobacco
A habit I never really did catch on to.

part XIII

20151027-mt-fromme-ned-tobin-12

When Out Walking (day 1327)

I woke up one morning
And all I could see was stars and flickering lights and little bits of human nature fluttering about the place,
Which is when I said to myself:
“Ned, you’ve made quite delight of this so far, you’ve had your way with a lot of things that have always kept your legs moving forward.
Do you know what time it is?”
Upon this thought I was forced to think for quite some time.
You see, I didn’t have a watch, and on account of the stars in the morning, I was already quite perplexed.
But someone came around at this time and motioned to the wall where there rested a round clock.
To which I was once again delighted in for I could tell time on these funny machines.
But my morning walk, which stretched on for a good number of hours, brought me to one sudden stop as I stared face to face with an angel who had come to hold my hand.
We didn’t dance, but we waltzed through the streets as we discussed what was on both our minds.
One thought after the other. One question after the other.
I returned home, but the lights had all been turned low. There were candles all around showing me peace and I stepped in.
And as I stepped in to a dream I knew and loved and had pushed away, I also stepped out of a unconsciousness I had been living under.
For today was no ordinary day,
Today is the day it all began.

Walking Tall (day 1028)

He walked away and he wasn’t walking tall
He shrouded and hunkered;
Fixed and determined and leaving.
Under one arm was clutched a notebook
Used regularly for scribblings and incidentals,
The other held nothing:
Bare, sober, exposed.
Not waving or weighing, but tucked neatly inside
A warm and worn pocket
Reserved for the odd receipt.
But mostly for his hand, unconsciously scrunched
Into a ball that hardly swayed
As his slouch carried him away.

 

London - 052012 (79 of 302)

Acceptance (day 903)

I am not the victim
Left hopeless in a pool of filth and inert shame
Wrong-doing receiver
Sad story and bitter ending

I am not the sufferer
Helplessly alone
Victim of circumstance
Aimless desires

I am not the casual
Random associations
Uninterestingly passive
Head down and walking

I am not the sober
Outcast
Big eyes and wide mouth
Annoyed

I am not yesterday
A lost wish
Crimson sunset
Or memories

I am acceptance

Athens - 092012 (36 of 411)

Crippling Romance With Stars (day 856)

I can see the stars when I close my eyes
Time flickers back to a time in space
Where long grass tickled cold toes and exposed shins
Walking lackadaisically over uneven ground
Arm in arm, enjoying the moment fully
Fuzzy groups of dancing nymphs
Flirting with mavens of the night
Desire spreading thick
Anticipating cool morning fog
Loud vibrations floating through nights air..

I can smell the essence there that night
Palpable reckoning, subtle beckoning
Tentative but raw passion driving

It wasn’t infused delusion crippling my senses
It was more romantic than that

Goodnight (day 842)

…and in the end
I could hardly think
I could hardly spend time walking
Late at night
Without a thought
Rummaging through my mind
Shifting from
Left to right
Shaking
Ignoring
Whimpering at all lost kisses
Lost thoughts
Instances of connection
That could have lasted
Had I not been
Lost in my own thoughts
Forgetting
About leftover madness
For who then
Should I say
Goodnight