Desired to be of waiting, thus
I’m getting tired of wandering
Without a cause.
I want reason that itches
Songs that move me
Lethargy to get the fuck out
Eating I go of dirt road trails
Through my smiling menace
With ten thousand reasons
To keep to the road.
Tag: waiting
From this Ledge (day 1000)
From this ledge I looked out beyond,
I surveyed the stillness.
Waiting,
Expecting,
Un-avoiding brief glimpses
Of society’s marks;
Transport trucks rumbling
In and out of earshot.
From this ledge I held onto a hand,
I held on so tight to remind me
That in spite surmountable distances,
In spite out-of-control conveniences
I wasn’t alone here;
Alone in my thoughts.
This wasn’t my diary,
This was my acceptance refusal.
From this ledge I plotted.
I took every hemlock and spruce
Inside my heart and nurtured their spirit
To grow with me as I carved my initials
Into their supple skin, raw so real;
Nature entwined my soul and became me
And I became it.
And I lept from this ledge with eyes wide open.
Pushing (day 730)
I roll around waiting for that shit to hit my head
Spinning relentlessly in this uncomfortable bed
I know not what has passed through this body
Just fumes and discarded waste left now
Memories that don’t lead to filled in blanks
It’s crushing, this deep sadness that spins around
The scribbled out pages of stunted thoughts
I work at pulling out words, but only vowels fall out
Shifting around uneasily like a shy cowboy
Fumbling with vices picked up from long hours
Out on the range with thoughts and dreams
I roll around waiting for that shit to hit my head
Waiting, Awaiting (day 715)
It’s ok if you sit there
Silently waiting for an answer
I won’t say anything to break
What serenity you seem to have
For if I were to make you
A victim of my retort
I fear I would then turn you
Against your finest consort
And that, much to my disliking
Would cause me quite some trouble
Since it’s clear it’s me to blame
For this new tragedy at hand
I feel if I were to speak now
It’d be me head on a stake
So I will sit here smug like
While you quizzically
Throw me glances
And carry on habitually
Awaiting another encounter
Dear Children (day 458)
My dear children
I’ve been waiting here some time
I’ve been holding onto my book
Flipping through the yellowed pages
Thinking of you
My son, your charmed elegance
Your presence simply beams my pride
Startling personality
That I grow to appreciate
How I’ve missed you
Dear daughter of my own style
How beautiful your long hair is
You make me long so much of my younger days
I wish I still had your skin
My beautiful girl, the love we have
I cherish these times my dear Children
I wish we could always remember
These beautiful moments here
Sure enough, as days pass on
We will not laugh nearly as much
No (day 117)
No, I’m not waiting
I’m not sitting here anymore
Like I’ve sat so long already
Waiting for a day to come
That’s probably already passed
I can’t think you’ll return
I can’t think it wasn’t bad
I’ve got to hold my hand out
Catch a cup full of rain water
Drink it with my blood: so hot
Drink it with my life: forgot
Break in the Day (day 109)
Sun that’s hotter than a well used oven
With young faces that are nervously wonderin’
Alerted by the slightest disturbance
But me, I still look for an empty corner
Away from the clamoring multitudes over
My fate sits fixed as is my countenance
Waiting sit I as I wander nearer
Playing with the time waiting for the bearer
Maybe we all feel this sustenance