Looking For This (day 3035)

I am looking for this.
All of my efforts and truths
Are running in parallel with my actions.
I am calling to my inner self,
Feeling my bones rumble
At each swing I make,
Splitting my observations into fragments
That live long in the hearts of men
Who come and sit and talk.
Yet this action has no idle,
It bears resemblance to sweat
Breaking the cloth in toil,
For when the sun rises in the East,
Each drop of frost rises
Like the man I am looking for.

Looking for This by Ned Tobin

Wax (day 2909)

I am nothing
For this is changing.
My knowledge has been,
My journey long gone,
Sense of self abandoned
And the lizards
Have begun to infest
Each broken hallow,
Each arching pain
That has dropped
And begun no start
For I am nothing
Like candles run wax.

Awoke (day 2907)

You awoke me.
Motionless I stood there
Agape for your heart.
I sank my teeth
Into the sinue of your breath,
Waiting for no signal:
All had been spent.
My Self unfurled
At the gates of your openness.
Your divine tenderness
Whispered sweetly
Into the microphone of my soul,
And the tune
That rested within my heart
Was beating I felt closely
In the beating of your heart.

Remembering Me (day 2879)

For what I shall not remember here
I shall lay these grasses aside
I shall divide my remaining seeds
And plant my memory
So that in ten thousand days
I can outline my path
Each softening step along the way
That grew me into self
Until I reach the place
I’m trying to lead myself too
Where each my different voice
Rest knowing what I do not know.

Coals (day 2803)

Yellow coals burn in my ancient fire
Radiating my self into night
For I cometh for no depth
No talisman – slender
I come for the full weight
Of each choice I’ve ever met.
So I’m left here spinning
Middle of the square,
Conscious of my coals
In the hands of each soul
My remission dares to re-enter.

World in You (day 2311)

This is for the world in you
The orb that pumps so freely
So guided and gentle
So fierce and powerful
So knowing and certain
And comforted and questioning.
This is for standing tall and yelling
I FUCKING LOVE YOU
Because I do love you
And I hold you in more than just my thoughts
For my strength is more than just my muscles
I hold you in my self
For myself
You who are myself and who are else
Who tempts me
And shows me
And lifts me
And challenges me
Who gargles my breath and spits out my flesh
Who grips on tight when the lights turn down low
Who opens each door knowing
That on the other side
There will be no more turning back
Because this is for the world in you
And the world in you is calling
On the world inside of you
To take comfort
With the world in you
Because this world in you
Is for the world in you.