Tag: fear

Waiting, Awaiting (day 715)

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It’s ok if you sit there
Silently waiting for an answer
I won’t say anything to break
What serenity you seem to have
For if I were to make you
A victim of my retort
I fear I would then turn you
Against your finest consort
And that, much to my disliking
Would cause me quite some trouble
Since it’s clear it’s me to blame
For this new tragedy at hand
I feel if I were to speak now
It’d be me head on a stake
So I will sit here smug like
While you quizzically
Throw me glances
And carry on habitually
Awaiting another encounter

Lines Upon My Face (day 486)

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The lines upon my face that have worn away the years
Don’t give away my fear, they only invite my destruction nearer
But that too isn’t the worst of my troubles that hold me here at bay
They dive deeply into the dark pools with the chances I’ve always took
I have not listened well when I’ve been told what to do
And to thank all those who have aided me well
Would be a valiant pursuit

So I write until I’ve answered the questions that Ive never held back from myself
I explore the possibilities that I’ve never kept away from my soul

I drink to this, in the pinnacle of the night
I celebrate the chances I have yet to take and make

But it would be a fools escape were I to think
My life could be comprised of late night toasts
For had I the chance to hold a romance
I would suffer from the guilt I’d feel
For in the morning, I’d sleep away all my nights delight
And then I’d find I’d have no mind
And be no man at all

So now I sit here and stare away the lines upon my face
Contort and twist and shape and adjust my thoughts
Until that which was asked is far from true
And the answer that is found is much more relevant
To the problems on my mind
Where no chance now could bring back time
To make me believe in you

Whispered On Breezes (day 411)

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And why did I cry those symphonies of sadness
Gloating in my fear of change and misunderstanding
Shivering in my woven cottons, thick with dew

And why did I turn on the sad songs late at night
Darker than the dreams threaded upon the weary roads
Wilder than the rivers yet to be crossed

And why did I put out the white flag, tattered in the wind
Sickening the neighbors with fear and dread
Inviting the armies to beat down and rape

And why did I walk the street that had no name
Windy and uneven, thin and unkept, silent and poorly lit
With hands deep inside the pockets that had no bottom

It’s the answers I hear whispered on breezes late at night

To Demeter (day 376)

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Losing control like Demeter after
The deed has been done, Hades has been satisfied
Lost in a spiraling madness leaving no traces
Trapped by the pomegranate
Sensual fruit for two

But lovely Calithoe, with hair so long
And her thirsty sisters, encouraging her on
Put in the good word, for her fathers only son
Deeply effected, and enchanted the most
Control slowly seeps back into thine hands

But still fear, oh yes still fear
This hasn’t ended, rather just begun
Stones to be thrown, droughts to be brought
Remember the danger, remember the deceit
Throw it away into the rage of the fire

Till forever, till tomorrow
Until the rain comes again
Reaping splendor for the lands and the hunger
Where there in the end
Persephone will be free

Skin So Bare (day 284)

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Dueling pianos penetrate my skin
Forthcoming evening seeps within
Dangerous thoughts roam through my brain
And the night begins thus

Train rolls rapidly on
Jigging my jaw to an unwritten song
I have no fear, says I
I have no pain today

And the lonesome whistle blows off in the distance
I, left standing there in the cold
Watch as my breath floats around the glowing light
In utter silence, miles from anyone or anything

Flash back to a grand romance
Black lace and skin so bare
Knee bones and muted breath
Swayed by the motion of the long locks of hair

I remember now
I remember the long nights I’d speak out
Wondering what lessons I’ve learned
Never understanding the answers I’ve made possible

I’ve never been able to understand
Why searching and searching holds my name
Why memories will always remain
Until the last pair of leggings are just remains