I could be falling over you,
Knocked down by time
Left here to wind my way
About books and seeds
And burnt candles
Handled by delicate hands
To the tune of Chopin
Rustling pages of a score
Over aged ivory keys
On a wooden floor
Showing signs of nostalgia
In gray and white carvings,
Had I known any better.
Tag: falling
From My Heart and Throat (day 1302)
Some days I don’t want to exist anymore.
Some days I don’t want truth to be hovering
Around the center vortex of my cranium.
And it’s not even a weight,
It’s a lifting feeling that attaches itself
And continually pulls my gaze
..and hands
To face collecting clouds with nothing but
Questions rolling from heart and throat and
Rain drops that keep falling down my face.
Pushing Defeat (day 792)
I am pushing away my talents into a pit full of defeat
Losing my sense of touch as I turn off my eyes and shut out my ears
I am managing my vices into small little pockets
Keeping them close to reap what I fancy while ignoring the pangs
I am losing my stability that once held my shoulders back and head high
As I slouch forward at my torture all day passing wisdom into ignorant ears
I am glass without even a foggy decay bouncing about the oceans surf
No message, no inside, not even a small culture clinging to the rough edges
I am falling into the lost pages of all the dusty books
Pressed flat to be a disconnected memory with a faint lingering scent
But alas, I am a strong thought late at night when all else settles down
When the moon rises and coyotes howl and the sheets rumple at thy feet
I’m Done End (day 514)
Muttering and murmuring and lost all control and trying to step and falling forward with an understanding that nothing is as it seems but today oh my smoke and holiday but where I’ve seen not only that lost and maybe tomorrow my mother and I could who is that standing and crosswalks that I’m into with honking and what is the matter but why have I gathered but there’s no more sense in this matter of a conclusion can we understand my control but who has the next hit I think I’m done for the night but where is home do I have places to sleep where have I come from but there is no home anymore fucking father left me to die and he can rot in a scum bag of maggots but tonight I can’t sleep for I’m dizzy and maybe here I can sit down a while will it rain again tonight I don’t care anymore I need another hit needles drugs spoons lighter fuck where’s my lighter I’ve lost it again and under the bush where was I last night that whore I lost my underwear too but that’s but tonight I don’t have sleep but crosswalks and random who’s this and what is he doing why is that there is that a camera did he just take my where did he go I was about to say something to him come back here! the crosswalk did I stop walking ok here I will send for my secrets and lay them waste upon this stone hard ground kissing stone kissing cement walk I must walk and left and walk and onto the next where did we end up with truths and endless abandoned I’m done end John smoke home
Shadows (day 275)
Cool nights like these are the ones that seek my own sanity
Deep within the pipe whistle that blares out these two toned ears
Like the sharp edges that cut this time so
Perhaps the shadows will be a bit more forgiving
With their loss of dimensions
All willy nilly changing to the motion of light
Sometimes here, sometimes there
Sometimes falling in a steady glow about your gaze
Transfixed into the lost souls that speak forgotten tongues
Yet work the windows like Jack Frost in the waking hour
Don’t mind that scratching sound now
Don’t mind those omnipresent shadows
Don’t mind the strange noises crawling down your spine
Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight
A Smaller Time, A Greater Mind (day 181)
Remind me soon of days long gone
A heavy tune, a raging song
Hockey skates and falling snow
Made up the nights as I would go
Remember when the goals were big
When laughing came so easily?
I’ve never lost those days of youth
But somethings gone, perhaps uncouth
I fear not, those dancing days
For I know the world in many ways
I’ve slept with saints
I’ve rebelled with sinners
But youth, it still, as time does pass
Reminds me of some greener grass
A teenage crush, a longing stare
Of now it seems I’ve more to care
Forget me not, my lovers stare
Remember the time we lost: were bare
Hold me now, and hold me tight
Today is good, I’ve got more fight
Inhale (day 35)
Slightly zoned, half inebriated
Focusing steadily on things not on my mind
Faking, because there is nothing there
Alone if the air is clear
I’ll sit and stare
I’ll sit and stare
Whispering loudly into your un-hearing ear
Words of laughter, only one of us will get
That’s ok, I’m having a good time
Out here with the buzzing bees
Dancing slowly
Dancing slowly
A burst, a gust, a breath, an inhale
All for no reason, for no one shall fail
No one shall lose, and no one shall win
We shall all collapse in the same un-bathed sin
Whirl my soul
Whirl my soul
Sweeping and groping and laughing and falling
Stumbling in arms specifically made for this moment
A ruckus erupts from beneath the floor
Aggressively leaping into the arms of my lost lover
Lonely I walk
Lonely I walk
I’ve seen this road before
Lazily I’m stumbling with stern conviction
Homeward bound with passive addiction
At last the bed, inviting swirling apparitions.