Surrender Inside (day 2397)

What is this?
Can you put a name upon it?
I’ve gone inside my confusion
And come upon some axioms
That define failure
And unlimited freedom
That I’m not equipped to understand.
So there I stood
I wanted reason
And stood for abandon
I wanted a formula
But there looking back at me
Sat wide eyed loss of control
And I knew I had to surrender.

Treasure Chest (day 2131)

Rambling when I remembered to stop
A limb broken and I heard it drop
Methodically stripping naked
A consciously wrapped envelope
Placed at the trunk of a mighty old oak
Who waved back and forth
Silly gamblers marching about
To the tune of engines
Sputtering confusion
And lay raindrops upon folded corners
Which shall leak kava upon this ancient floor
Upon which I rest upon
To humbly assess the treasure chest.

Winter, Run Over Me (day 2121)

Winter, where have you gone from me
Lost in the great thaw
Confusion melting all around
From your serene gentle cold heart
Keep me in a catacomb
A maze under the permafrost.

Winter, I remember days gone by
My mind shifts North: cloudy sky
Priceless antidote
Boiled water in a kettle old
Dried leaves in a mounding heart
Run over me, lost to darkness.

Heart Flutters (day 1495)

A great confusion comes upon my heart
When I see you passing by,
As if the sky wasn’t blue enough
To alight me upon my way.
And then my thought is calmed again
In a way which I cannot say.
But still the thought of you –
As clear as day can bring –
Rests upon my mind,
Assuring me in all my trials
It’ll all turn out just fine.

Paper Route & Pig Tails (day 731)

I woke as I usually did
Tightened up my roller blades
And went about my route
Delivering papers
That was my chore
I was an older paper boy
Paper man if you will
We had exchanged glances
On and off regularly
She fancied my roller blades
7016 at the top of the hill
She was a young retired skater
Whose quirkiness attracted me
We started to talk
More as the days went by
I got to know her
Comfortable in her ways
She was interested
In a twenty something year old paper man
Not much older herself
It wasn’t my only job
It was a side thing for sure
But it was what it was
Which brought me to her
We flirted, why not?
Enjoying it immensely
But the professional I am
I had a route to deliver!

I remember one time
She asked me to help her with her hair
She had fascinating clamps
To hold her hair in there
They were clips
That were held with bolts
Needing to be tightened
Her hair was parted down the middle
Strictly, thin hair
Cut a few inches above her shoulders
Dyed, always a new catchy colour
Two short and cute pig tails
Which she spun in towards themselves
In an upside down heart
Then up the middle
Were they were clamped into place
Contact is a beautiful thing
A heart racing against my heart
I felt it, she felt it

She invited me over one day
She was aggressive like that
Which explains why she was
So comfortable topless
I was shy, what do you do?
I’m not used to that
Try to fit in, just act casual
Tea was on the menu
I like mine with sugar
We talked and flirted
An old china cup was delivered
Her house smelled like lilacs
She was pure coconut with passion
Dancing about the room
Graceful steps was dancing to me
Telling me of stories she had once lived
I leafed through the books on her shelf
Many I had read, bookworm I am
I was in a corner
Trapped without chains
She wandered over to me
She was topless, of course
Big black panties
The kind that come up past a bellybutton
But, underneath them she had on a thong
As she wandered over to me
She was fumbling in them
Head cranked around, hands all jumbled up
Confusion on her face
With me watching unashamed
She turned around
And pushed her bum into my crotch
It was more like her bum
Into my thighs
She was a shorter, fiery girl
Fumbling with her thong
Acutely pointing her bum
And asked me if I could help her
Straighten out her panty line

There is something about that first moment
When your hand touches the skin of a lover
Especially around their hips… a soft stomach
Something magically innocent in those moments
Enough to erupt a thousand spitting volcanoes
And tingle the tips of toes with an excited sensation
Quivering the knees while reaching out for more

Accepting (day 631)

I pattered to and fro
Seemingly aimlessly disturbed as I go

But I with the plan
With goals laid upon
Accepting at my feet
I would let you in
To my dashing little plan
Should you reach out and shout

Not on this Thursday, though
To busy in your mind
You washed out my truths
Delayed with confusion

Please, I ask let me go now
I’ll set forth from here
Alone with my bushel
Onwards on my journey

Love Me (day 582)

Perhaps it was when I let go of the past
That I stepped out from beneath the cloak
Beneath the warm resting place
So laid out with holy hay to please me

Those days in my memory fill this mind
With confusion and misunderstanding
No matter who I turn to in these days
They know not the turmoil I did feel

Of what I once was a true master
Now I look upon for no more
Not for lack of interest, true it not here
But for a displacement of my desires

I have moved on with passions
Into realms to you unknown
But this hardly make them
Any less of what I harboured inside

Please let me grow now
With the wings that you’ve given me
I’ve loved you for giving me them
Now love me for using them

Confusion (day 421)

The confusion is like Clouds today
Perfectly shapely and full of volume
But unconvinced of whether they like the sun
Or if the sun has had it’s fun and should be sent away

It confuses me as I roll here
Along the sandy tides of earth and light
I step along the meadows of deep
To come forth with my own delight

And when the sun has further chased Clouds away
Green grass and leaves of trees do flutter
Shaking their selves to and fro
Pulling at the unconvinced rays of Clouds gates

Perhaps all that’s needed is to stand and stretch
To grow my wings unlike Creon’s folly
To learn from wisdom, and heed all advice
But lessons unclear confuse my direction

Dragons (day 377)

The confusion seeps in like a dagger through the heart
What’s the way out of this circular box?
The dragons they fly above in this night sky
With the demons that drag down this night’s sky high
The backlash of supernova reaches my spine
The acceleration has passed me; left me to die

Tomorrow I shall wake with a hangover to cure
The sadness won’t hit me until I step out the door
Lights, bright lights will tame my wild soul
While dragons will wait, night’s fall won’t be long
And in the moment when everything flashes again
I will stand tall and proud with a dagger in my heart
I will ride the tricked out pony and chase the magic hare