Wax (day 2909)

I am nothing
For this is changing.
My knowledge has been,
My journey long gone,
Sense of self abandoned
And the lizards
Have begun to infest
Each broken hallow,
Each arching pain
That has dropped
And begun no start
For I am nothing
Like candles run wax.

Stuffing Dance (day 2903)

I’m getting tired of this dance
Stuffing our faces
With experiences
We dont know if we enjoy.
Who designed our minds?
Who gave us this style inprint
That requires consistent change?
Updating, renewing, regulating…
There is no end game
It’s just a consume point,
Many consume points
That filter me
Based on my character profile
That I work hard at eliminating
Because I’m a stereotype
Who doesn’t like being stereotyped.
I’m entitled to use my words
More than I use my action,
And I take pains to twist words
To judge others
Before I myself
Be my harshest critics.
Lost on a translation
Misunderstanding,
This changing time…
Imagining a different world
We hope to be in
But refusing to acknowledge
The disconnect
With a path that is too far gone.

Distract Me (day 2865)

I am distracted and disgusted
Trapped inside a ritual
I never knew I’d slipped into.
I woke alarmed,
Spoke slowly,
Yet saw no change becometh.
Then there I was: forgotten,
Within myself: outwardly,
Expecting another to change,
Or not to be,
Or be completely..
And I had nothing for my pain
For it was all consumed
By my distraction
Disgusting me.

Agreeing To Be Depth (day 2850)

I am awoke by change
No longer mind frame
A Chancellor of fate
Calling to his wild.
Gods are word-spells
Agreeing to be depth,
For this shall – and will not –
Be a poster boy for stagnate.

Lessons are ritual,
Observation a practice,
Mind-spend: currency,
And Gaia a dotted map
For discovering a new way,
No longer to submit
Anchoring of truths
In unconscious fits
Of anxiety and loss,
Amidst coldness
With sugar dust
Toxic sold bliss.

Changed (day 2605)

If we brought to changing the world
Would we take to changing me?
Would we rearrange the clouds
To march down river beds?
Take for granted chains of time
Taking us each away,
Take advantage of Polaris
– Never changing star,
Take the dirt between your toes
And tell me everything else
Tell me of frogs chirping loud
Of early morning birds,
Tell me what you see inside
My autumn coloured eyes
Leave me a changed man
So I can change the world.

Changed by Ned Tobin

Just a Better Man (day 2426)

If I was just a better man
I’d have made a little change;
Words still spoke echo loud
Instead it’s drugs that choke.
I have a mind filled of veins
Tracks leading Hollywood
Straight to Reno, desert rose –
And it’s a clear night tonight.
Blackness of a heart murmur
Every shadow induces blur
That silhouette each mystery
Like whispering dust amidst a dream.
“Goodnight my well worn boots,
I’ll be sleeping in tonight.”

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXXIV (day 2038)

part XXXXXXIII

“When I was young
My father would take Moon Cow and I to Plains
Same place every year
And we would sit in same spot
Watching great Buffalo
Migrate through
Dad would tell stories
Of previous hunts
Or legends his father had told him
Explaining to us where Buffalo came from
And why it had been given to us
Now, we no longer have Buffalo
That my father spoke of
And it saddens me that Lily River
Cannot sit here
Listening to your stories
Of where Buffalo comes from
And why we respect Buffalo
I don’t hate White Man for this
Though it is their doing
How could I hate the natural way of world
Speaking to us so?
We have shared this land many generations
Hopefully many more
But our people have always listened
Listened to stars, moon
Trees, rivers, creeks,
Coyotes howling at night
Those are Gods we take
And those are Gods who speak to us
So, too, shall we let Gods lead us now
In this time of change
For change is what we always have
Season to season
Moon to moon
We listen
And change led us here
How can I worry about change
So strong I feel in us now
change like we have never experienced
Land is changed now
It is not our family at war with other families
It is all of our families coming together
To find a way to stop big change White Man brings
Do you think there will ever be a time
When land has changed so much
No more Buffalo
Whole valley of Elk we see here
So vast and so plentiful
So many there are less trees in the forest
Do you think land will have
Buffalo no more
And Gun grows as plentiful
As Elk here before us?”

part XXXXXXV

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXXI (day 2035)

(part XXXXXX)

Every day we could feel the weather warming up
But we could also feel our spirits rising
Spring came early
We felt heaviness of Winter
Seep out of our teepee
With every cleansing steam inside
And Willow would burn sage brush
Helping evil spirits escape.

I looked for every way to show Willow
Love that I had for her
And so did Lily
I think it was a team effort
We kind of all knew that nothing ever was the same
But we still wanted Willow back
And she came back to us
After a bit of a spell away,
For a few days she left
With warm blanket and clothes
To where we didn’t really need to know
But when she returned
She was a new woman
A proud woman, an invigorated woman
A hungry woman,
And we all still loved her
And ate to celebrate the change.

She told me one night
Soon after that
That she had a vision
From her mother
Telling her that:
As the sky must cry
To empty it’s weight
So too must the heart.

It shocked me a little bit
To learn that Willow felt unworthy
Of the love that I gave her
For what had happened
To our baby
But I reassured her it wasn’t so
That no matter what
I loved her
And with this
She looked me in the eyes for a long time
And finally exclaimed:
My Love, Big Arrow –
A name she had started to affectionately
Call me after she learned
Of Lily’s and mine’s first meeting
So many moons ago now
When she had given me her little arrow
And I to her: my heart –
I don’t know where you came from
And I do hope you stay a while
You are a good man
Better then most
Your kindness I could never match
And for that, I am yours,
Until the moon stops to shine
And the Sun falls asleep.

part XXXXXXII