(part XII)
Inside the walls
Became safer and safer
So that food
Was no longer unsafely natural
It came in small packages
Properly balanced
For full health benefits
And longer life span.
Laws were no longer questioned
For they were made
With safety in mind.
Rules were not broken
For the unsafe were strictly punished
And those
Who had found success
In the early days of Fear
Were those who now ruled
In the days of Safety.
(part XIV)
I found you down a darkened road
Construction and rainy smells
Inside an old historic building
In to what felt like a historic store.
The walls were lined
With countless pens
And items supporting pens,
All illuminated so eloquently
Showcasing the finest specimens
Any penman could want.
In here I walked back and forth,
And fellow patrons wandered deep in thought,
Where finally in the deepest corner
I found you resting on a stand
Not a fingerprint laid your barrel.
And now so many years have passed
Yet not once have you let me down
Though the world we’ve traveled by foot
No wear shows upon your barrel,
Your nib a perfect flow.
And your mark has been inscribed
On countless pads sent afar
With, what I believe, quite an exquisite touch
Unique to me, my penman mark
You so critically help me lay.
I look and hold you every day,
Proud to know you by feel and weight
To have you by my side,
And to know that when I need you most
You’ll be right where I lay you down
Ready with your perfect balance
Upon paper we do play.
When I sung the rhythm I had heard
When I awoke to what my soul knew
I damaged my ending that grew so tall
Deepness I had lost so well
Closed a window, let go my hold.
When I walked so heavy footsteps
I yelled my name in vain
I sunk my teeth into giant fir
Wilting at the corners of
My jagged sharpened heart.
When I sat and stole two moments of
Silence gathering all around
I witnessed a closing balance
That took my mind away
Leaving me with ten thousand spaces
Previously occupied my mind
Held now for emptiness
No depth that I could feel remained.
My morning ritual is equal parts balance and disregard.
I curl out of long embraces
And yearn for another warm
Set of arms that can caress me
As coffee does.
My heart is ready, and embraces
Randomized patterns of light
Streaming through South-East facing windows,
And entirely unready for children screaming
As they bounce their balls
Through the playground across the street.
Even conversation is hard when my thoughts still linger
About webs my subconscious wove
Whilst I rested a while.
And here I am, embracing dry, heat infusing sun
And stepping naked into boxed rain
That shall strip me of these memories
And click restart
For a clean day I shall reign.
When I’m awake I find balancing points
That trickle down through clouds and metaphors
Like sapphire jewels having a field day in stage lights.
I watch children sprinkle their knees with pixie dust
And women walking with protest signs
Covered in bloody tampons.
I cover my muesli in chia seeds and hemp hearts
Because I believe in a well balanced diet,
And stay up late at night with my lover, naked,
Talking about what turns us on.
When I’m awake I’m a well versed man
Who believes in a conversation
That can change the world,
And as I do this I break down my understanding
Of how the world can change.
I’ll always believe,
I’ll always buy second hand and resell what I don’t need
To a kind soul with a good home,
I’ll always enjoy gardens that feed my mind, body and soul
Like a calming glass of water,
I’ll always walk with my heart open,
And if that doesn’t make me balanced,
Then it’s sink or swim for me
In this world spinning like an old Russian top.
And I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not awake all the time
Because fuck, we all need balance.
I don’t want to explore your heart,
I don’t want to balance the abundance of the universe
Upon two lovely chakras and deep kiss.
No one wants to be this alive.
Life, as alive, blooms in bounty
Interpolating yesterdays and tomorrows
Until far away lands caress.
Throw me away long glances.
There will be no answered questions.
I will not be your root cause.
I was an angel;
Struggling against purpose,
Harboring desire
Deep within action words
That you could not hear,
You could not feel,
You could not understand…
But we floated
I was an angel;
Distracting minute details
Into synchronicity,
Juggling and balancing
And crawling beside
Straight lines
Wish-washing my roads
With gravel timelines..
Dirty bloody knees
I was an angel
Singing my love-rich song
With arrows and soft colours
Diluting my expression
Like overcast clouds
On damp, dreary days.
Long words lingering on,
Left behind in old thoughts.
Did my letters long convince your soul
That all was lost amongst our hearts?
Pleasure drained upon the floor
And my eyes sore, my eyes are sore.
Balance shifted which throws me off.
What once was art is burning hearts
To leave me scarred, aghast; true horror.
And my eyes sore, my eyes are sore.
Like laughter in wicked eyes of crows,
It shelters me not, my sorrow cloak.
And fill my heart with dust and sand
And my eyes sore, my eyes are sore.
To wake again my soul at long last,
To deliver my forgiveness upon deaths door.
You were never mine, but I cared evermore.
And my eyes sore, my eyes are sore.
I center my balance as I reel
Slowly out of peace
While loosely around me clutters
Lost fragments of my memory
I cannot counter distress
That flutters here
Suspended in mid-air
Waiting to attach itself
To unsuspecting passersbys
I, the unsuspected
Shelter my innocence
With umbrellas for the sun
Reflecting glances
Off my glaring receptacles
I know not the distress
Left steaming from blacktop
Covering your deepest desires
Near the corners of your heart
Peace falls over me
Like a blanket of trust
Calming, relaxing
Centering to my core
I rest my eyes
They internalize thought
Breath rolls out
Bad vibes and disease
And I sit wandering
Why do I wonder?
Thinking about what
I cannot change anyway
Exhale
Thinking about what
I’ve let drift away
Exhale
Thinking about what
I breathe from my soul
Exhale
Thinking about what
Peace means to me
Exhale
The balance from me
The balance to me
The balance is me
The balance without me
The balance in me
And I exhale
Inhale
Namaste
Exhale
Thank you
Inhale