Month: November 2016

Moon at Midnight – Part XXVII (day 2001)

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(part XXVI)

Around noon three U.S. Army men on horseback
Came into camp
They acted as if they owned this land
With their rifles in their hands
They set up a makeshift desk
And began taking down everybody’s name
And asking some of the weirdest questions
I’d ever heard people get asked
Especially for no apparent reason
And without consulting Mountain Chief
About the appropriateness of the whole ordeal
Mountain Chief I could see was confused
And really not sure what to do
He was a smart Chief
Not wanting to start a war with the U.S. Army
But he was a proud man too.

Nobody made too much fuss
But nobody was really too excited
To see men in uniforms there
They each had heard stories
Their suspicions only grew
As the tension grew from these army men
It was very hard for me to sit by
And watch as these U.S. Army men
Clearly disrespected my family
For no reason other then the colour of their skin
And their history.

They left peacefully
Giving little logical reasoning for the interrogation
And also no real thanks for everybody’s cooperation
I saw people looking at me afterwards
Hoping that I had some sort of answer
But I had no idea either
I sat with Mountain Chief and Moon Cow
And other elders of the tribe
Discussing what this meant
What rumors they had already heard
And what we would do
Mountain Chief said he would consult the other tribes again
See how they had been treated
I knew he didn’t want to align with either army
Canadian or U.S. or even Sioux or
Other Blackfoot that had started fighting
But I knew that he could sense change
Something that would change their lives forever
A change that he couldn’t control
No matter how many buffalo hides he had
Or how much water ran past his feet.

I sat up for a long time that night
With Willow by my side
I didn’t really know what to ask
Or how to answer anything
So I just sat silently
Watching our small fire burn away
Outside of our teepee
In the blanket that wrapped us together.

part XXVIII

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Moon at Midnight – Part XXVI (day 2000)

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(day XXV)

When Spring finally came
The village came to life with activity
Even the wildlife seemed to be happier
As the sun stuck around longer
Whistling was heard everywhere
Especially coming from the young scouts
Who were all running around
With their new quivers they had proudly made
With the help of Moon Cow
Runners would come daily from the surrounding tribes
Spreading the news of the cold winter.

We were told to come at once
As our neighbours were having a gathering
To celebrate the new life
Sprouting all around
There was also much talk
About the army’s whereabouts,
Both the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
And the U.S. Army,
Mountain Chief and Moon Cow were always involved
In these important discussions
Trying to understand
Why the land had brought them
Charging into Blackfoot territory.

I was excited as well
To practice once more my arrow
See if she still sung straight
With the young Scouts I hunted with
It became a challenge
Who would get their first offering
Of the season.

The four of us,
Willow, Lily, Moon Cow and I
All rode over to pay Amy, Frank, and Clarinet a visit
They were ever so happy to see us
As they usually were
It was nice to see they had survived the winter well
Still plenty of split wood left
In Frank’s woodpile
It’s funny how a winter changes a person
Even though most physical things stay the same
For me, I was surprised to remember
How just a year ago
I had been embarking on my journey East
To find what I had been looking for.

Frank had news from Missouri country
Where he learned that President Ulysses S. Grant
Was in the process of Reconstruction
Rebuilding, a lot of talk about Black folk
And settling affairs with Natives
For us out where we were,
It was all just city talk,
Technical business matters we weren’t involved in
Or so we liked to think
Though we knew that it wasn’t just going to be me
Wandering through these hills
It was going to be many more like me
In search of something to call their own
I didn’t know it at the time
But anybody who was familiar with the territory
Knew that there was a bit of unease that spring
As news spread after the thaw.

part XXVII

Moon at Midnight – Part XXV (day 1999)

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(part XXIV)

Winter was cold and long
But we had each other and lots of buffalo meat
So what else could a person ask for?
Moon Cow would very often come over
To our teepee and we would all talk,
Moon Cow being the interpreter most of the time
We would go walking when we could
Through the snow following tracks here and there
It became a game on the nice days
On the cold days it was a chore
But there is no other way
When you live off the land.

I spent a lot of time learning Pikanii that winter
A lot of my white man words
Neither Willow nor Moon Cow could comprehend
Things they just had never seen
They had a beautiful language
That spoke mostly of what was important
They were all eager to learn my language too
So they could prosper with the traders
That would return in the spring.

The family grew accustomed to me
Seeing my familiar face around
And as I learned new words
I would usually surprise them when I would comment
On something they were doing,
Or just friendly greetings, smiling as we passed each other.

Willow didn’t cook as good as Moon Cow did
But Willow had a wider vocabulary of herbs and spices
That I greatly appreciated
Especially when it came to fighting off colds
For Willow also knew medicines well
She taught me how to identify many
By sight and by smell
And I would accompany her when we would wander about
Looking for roots and bulbs through the winter
As treats for our palette.

day XXVI

Moon at Midnight – Part XXIV (day 1998)

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(part XXIII)

Winter was cold living on the land
But the teepee that Willow kept
Was as warm as anybody could ask for
Because Moon Cow was such a crafter
Willow naturally had the skill too
And we had luxuries like fur and hides
And a makeshift bed frame to keep us off the ground
Yet no amount of furs or soup
Could make each cold frozen step
Through the snow, warm.

I awoke one night to coyotes howling
They were real close
I could practically feel them standing on my bed
I could hear a baby crying
So I knew I wasn’t the only one to have woken
Willow stirred and I looked at Lily
And she had her eyes wide open
Looking a little bit scared
I threw on my jacket and grabbed a torch
And stepped outside the teepee to see what was happening
It was a clear night and I could see my breath
As the beautiful waxing gibbous lit the earth, unobstructed.

There were five of them
Pacing back and forth
Just on the edge of our encampment
They jumped at the firelight
But stayed hovering around
I picked up a snowball and threw it
Which landed close to two of them
They looked at me for a moment
And I threw another one which hit one in the back
It was stunned for a second
Letting out a little bit of a yelp
But then got back up and it seemed to me
The other coyotes were laughing at it,
I threw another and made a howling noise at it
Trying to scare it off
They withdrew further into the brush
At the other side of the opening
By this time one of the other men
Were outside with me
He had brought out his bow and arrow
And started shooting at them
Yelling some words that I couldn’t understand
The coyotes obviously did
And before long they were trotting away.

part XXV

Moon at Midnight – Part XXIII (day 1997)

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(part XXII)

The land Mountain Chief had decided to camp at for the winter
Was full of buffalo and other small game
Looking for cover in the trees for the cold season
The flat land wasn’t too nice for them
We teamed up the neighboring camp of Blackfoot
Who’s chief took Mountain Chief’s sister to bed
Seeing all of the riders together
Gave me a chill up and down my spine
But it was beautiful to watch the skilled riders
Chase the buffalo down a buffalo run
Jumping to their deaths
Must have been houndreds of them
To skin and to smoke.

Moon Cow and I set to work at once building as many
Smoke houses as we could
In the fashion that I had first built with him
A few moons ago now
Some of the other people dug giant but shallow holes
Which they then put sticks beneath
Then a makeshift frame structure
That they layered buffalo onto
And on top of this
They lay the hides they had just skinned.

It was a massive undertaking and some days
I would ride up to the top of the cliff
And just look at all the people below working
Imagine how the buffalo had jumped with the stampede
Each day I would do at least three loads of newly smoked meat
Back to the camp we had
Wild Willow had set a home close by
Open air but many hides and blankets to keep us warm
Through the whole night
That we lived in while we were working
It was nice to have her warm body
To sleep next to every night
It was food for my soul.

Every night both of our people
Would get together around a large fire
And celebrate the harvest
The bounty we were all so thankful for
To keep us through the winter
Everybody was happy, laughing, dancing
I would watch Willow and Lily
Dance around with all their sisters
As the drums kept beating into the fresh night air
When she would come find me
She would be covered in a fine layer of sweat
And exhilarated by the night
I would join her at times
Trying to watch the other men
To see how they danced
So I could learn and feel like I belonged more.

When I would wake
There would still be smoke coming from the fires
But more importantly
Smoke would still be inside our smoke houses
That Moon Cow and I had stoked
Before we had gone to our beds
I would add more logs to each one
And when I returned to camp
Willow had special tea for me
With fried buffalo and eggs.

It was a lot of work
But methodical
Which I enjoyed
I definitely wasn’t as skilled as the others
At cutting and skinning
But I was good, and fairly quick
And my good knife definitely helped me
Some of the others used modified axes
That seemed to work fairly good
It was a city for those long days
Bustling with people here and there
Trading and helping
And I met many relatives
Ever curious who the white man was with Willow
It was clear that she was loved by many
And I could also see a few jealous Blackfoot
Looking at me, dressed in a mix of leather and cotton clothes
Wondering what I had that they didn’t
But Willow had told me this is just their way
That she had turned down some widowed elders
After Lily’s father had passed,
Content to help her brother and care for Lily
I wondered which ones.

part XXIV

Moon at Midnight – Part XXII (day 1996)

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(part XXI)

This was my new family
My life became so entwined with them
Every day for me was filled
With compassion I had never experienced before
Not even living at home with my Irish parents
Who set the fire at 4:15 every night
There were other people that involved themselves in our life
But they had their own things
And I had for the most part
Already been completely welcomed into the family.

I took Willow and Lily with me to see Amy, Frank, and Clarinet
Who were at first beside themselves with joy
That I had found myself a wife
And then flustered with how to celebrate
The special event with us,
Because of the communication we had developed
They were able to talk with us
And only some of the time Willow would lean on me
Asking what they had just meant
But she was never-the-less shy
About meeting White people
And didn’t quite know how to act
Or what to do in a social setting like this with them.

When we were on our way home
Winding through a path that was now familiar
I asked Willow how she had liked Amy & Frank
She said: “Amy very beautiful, Frank very clean.”
I laughed a good long time
After hearing this
In spite her questioning: “What? What?”
I couldn’t stop my laughter
And couldn’t get enough of this woman who loved me
I asked her how she liked their home
Wooden walls, and rocking chairs
And a steel fireplace to burn wood in
She looked at me and said straight:
“Joe, not us.”

At that moment
My passion for her blossomed
Into a thousand year old tree
Her honesty and immediate awareness of it
Made me understand one of her truest qualities
Willow looked at me
And I looked at her
And Lily, behind Willow, looked at me
And for nearly the whole ride home
I could hardly contain myself
From devouring with passion
The entire essence of Willow
Her full beauty as a strong Woman
Who had chosen to share space
With me, a dusty traveler,
And every time I looked at Lily
Bundled in tightly behind Willow with sleepy eyes
I burst into laughter I never knew I had.

When we arrived home
And put Lily to sleep
We walked down to the river’s edge
Where we had first kissed
And sat for a long time
Together, under blankets
Watching as the moon slowly made its arch
High up into the Autumn sky,
There were no words that needed to be said
Because we spoke so fluently in silence
And we leaned backwards
Falling into the web above
Twinkling back at us in dreams,
Sharing every secret we ever had.

part XXIII

Moon at Midnight – Part XXI (day 1995)

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part XX

At first it was hard to communicate with Willow
But we were inseparable
And we learned each other’s words
That helped us communicate
And what we lacked in spoken word
We made up for in body language
I hadn’t known many women in my time,
More familiar with an axe and squirrels,
But I learned Willow every way I could.

I learned how she hummed almost inaudibly
Before she woke me up
Dancing her fingers lightly over my sleeping body
As if they were sunlight
Warming my mind to the day;
I learned how her eyes looked shocked and innocent
When she couldn’t understand the words
I would excitedly share with her;
I learned her various routines
That announced each changing rhythm of the day;
I learned how much of a teacher
She was to Lily
Taking every moment she could to share
Her wisdom to her only child
With just the right enough patience
Matched with enough urgency
To encourage the blossoming child
To remember the things she must to survive.

I learned how she played with me
And laughed at my seriousness
She would push me to delay
In spots I hadn’t noticed in my hurry
Instantly draining whatever burden
I had riding about my shoulders
I learned her mischievous smile
When she would want me as her lover
And how she would lose all control
As she leaned her head back to my caress
Eager to remain entwined
Lost in the clutches of love.

Lily’s eyes would always grow larger
When she observed moments of our love
I knew that her adolescent crush
Wouldn’t let her sleep at night,
When Willow and I would share our passion
She seemed happier
Clearly part of her mothers spirit
That always sought to see happiness
In those around her
She would help as we learned to communicate as a family
Each playing a guessing game
That we became very accurate at
The more we learned each others’ rhythms.

part XXII

Moon at Midnight – Part XX (day 1994)

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(day XIX)

I slipped in to camp quietly
And set the horse loose
Moon Cow was sitting outside his teepee
Waiting for me
And as I sat down next to him
He handed me a blanket
And asked if I had stopped to watch the sunset
I told him it had changed my life
And he nodded silently
Taking a long inhale on his tobacco pipe
And handing it to me.

“What will you do?” he asked
Pointing to the moon
I knew he meant my heart
I fished out my little arrow
From my breast pocket
And told him that everything was already answered
And that I was still staying the winter
If I was still welcome in his home
He said I was always welcome in his teepee
Unless he had a girlfriend
Joking a little bit at the white man’s ways
Then he nodded towards his sister’s teepee
“She is expecting you now.”
I looked and noticed
That Willow was standing with her door open
Firelight dancing along the grass
As she looked straight at me
I walked over holding her gaze.

She held the door open for me
And when I reached her
Stepping to go past
Into the warmth of her teepee for the first time
She reached out her hand
And touched my forearm
To look me in the eyes
Learning the story of my soul
I looked back into hers
And gave her the story of my soul
And I gave her my soul
When she had learned it
I reached out and touched her
And pulled her closer to me
And held her there
For a very long time.

When she looked up
She had tears in her eyes
And said to me:
“I am yours now.”
And I looked her in the eye
And said as clearly as I could,
“Willow, I want to share my life with you
I want to provide for you
I want to protect you
I want to grow stronger with you
I want to bed with you.”
And she smiled her Wild Willow smile
And said again:
“I am yours now.”
And I repeated back to her
“I am yours now, too.”

This time she leaned in to kiss me
And I kissed her back
Until I heard a noise
Coming from inside the teepee
And I looked over
And it was Lily River
Smiling back at us
With her big eyes of joy
We all broke into happy laughter together
And Willow invited me to sit down next to her
On her bedding
And Lily brought us two cups of tea.

day XXI

Moon at Midnight – Part XIX (day 1993)

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(part XVIII)

I awoke early with Moon Cow
To ask him if I could take his horse
I told him I was going
To go to see Amy & Frank
See how they were setting into autumn
I had hardly been able to sleep
My mind was racing and ignited
And I definitely didn’t want to
Step on any feet in my new family
How could I know?
I only had vague introduction to their culture
And could only have my own reference
With the culture I was brought up in
I wasn’t naive enough to think
I knew how to fit in just yet,
Accepted as I was.

I hoped spending the day with Amy, Frank, and Clarinet
Would answer many questions for me
Being with them filled me with so much gratitude
So much love and respect for the family unit
But this was different
Than family life of the Blackfoot
Would Willow and Lily homestead with me?
How far ahead of myself I had gotten.

They could tell I had something troubling me
Amy said: “Joe, I think the full moon is on your mind.”
I kind of looked at her surprised
Using the moonlight last night talking to Willow
I had only noticed it but not taken much account
She was entirely right
My mind was in the moon
And with the birds, and bees,
And coyotes howling in the night.

So Frank and me cut wood
And Amy made us sandwiches
And all four of us drank fresh milk
And enjoyed the early afternoon sun together
I learned that Amy was pregnant with their second
At the same time Clarinet learned
She was startled with the news
Playing as she was with a doll on the patio,
She just sat there with her big eyes
Looking at her mother
Probably as many thoughts going through her brain
As I had inside of mine.

I left with enough time
To return by daylight
Trying not to rush myself home
For I knew that I would be expected
But still so many thoughts going through my mind
Before getting home
I stopped at one of the bluffs with a view
Of the entire valley basin
And watched the sun set
With glorious reds and purples and oranges
That gave me every answer
I had ever asked before.

day XX

Moon at Midnight – Part XVIII (day 1992)

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part XVII

Moon Cow and I talked about me staying with them for the winter
He asked Mountain Chief how he felt about this
And as him and I had already developed a good relationship
Mountain Chief had no objections
I would stay in Moon Cow’s teepee
Until the spring
There was plenty of space for him and I to share.

I became fascinated with bow and arrows
And would spend most days with some of the young Scouts
Trying to learn off of them
How to shoot, get good
Moon Cow at first lent me his bow
But then him and I went out and found the wood
To make one for myself
Moon Cow was known for his ability
To make tools
And one of his main parts in his family
Was to make bows and arrows
So he was able to show me exactly how to pick the right bow
And how to fashion it down to work for survival
With the arrows we also made together.

It was quite a thrill the first day
I provided dinner for Moon Cow, Lily and Willow
Willow had made Lily clean and comb her hair
And they treated me as if I were their chief
I also did my best to try and clean myself in the brook
Willow brought some delicious vegetables
That were very quickly eaten
The whole meal there we sat
All four of us looking at the other
And laughing as we ate around the fire.

The moon was out and Willow and me
Went to the brook to wash off the meal
By this time, Willow was remembering some of the English
She and Moon Cow had learned together
That she had said she had long forgotten
So we were able to have a little conversation
With the broken Pikanii I had learned so far
We sat by the brook talking for a long time
I asked her where Lily’s father was
She told me he had been killed many moons ago
With a bit of a sad face
Then explained to me that already being a mother
Wasn’t approved of, and she became
Even more saddened by this as she tried to explain to me
How she was trying not to be a burden to her people
Learning valuable foods that she could contribute
To the family.

And then I kissed her
Lightly, but I felt her gasp a bit
I took a moment to see into her eyes
The reflection of the moon showed me her wolf
We walked back silently
Nearly touching each other the whole way.

day XIX

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