Breathing Grand

It has been hard to admit
That my words have lost meaning.
Even the breath
That inhales to explain
Where my full self has departed to
Has lost its strength;
Faintly attached
With two softly drawn cords
Like a spider web
In early morning dew
(Too delicate and lost
To be trecherous and hard),
Whispers inside myself
Have fallen down.
This weakness has touched my message
– Ice crumbling at the brink of water –
So much so that my eyes
Are no longer opening
With meaning and fury
For they have bid me adieu
While rainwater is expected
To stain this grand scheme.

Jungle Buffalo (day 3155)

Running through the jungle softly
Footsteps over bare roots
Caught a glimpse of bright feathers
Flutter deep says the heart.
Spider webs and sticky vines
Leading through an ancient path
Wondering which local animals do use
Which beasts could one ever hope to see?
Wild pigs roam here, so vicious they
Could tear this fluttering heart so bare.
And staring up, far above,
Towards the canopy so green, so deep,
One faintly remembers where the sky
Once a hallmark of the stars
Looked like upon an open campfire
Many meters away
Upon great plains of Canada
Where the buffalo used to roam.

Wander To Withdraw (day 3049)

I wandered here as if lost
One eye on the path
The other asking my Gods
What makes a Man a Man.
I saw sunlight between the boughs
I saw spiders in their webs
I saw the great Fir’s bark
So cavernous and traversed.
I felt deep inside my heart
The partridge that took flight;
So close and thunderous,
So quickly she was off.
I saw the dam the busy Beaver built
Saw his second one too
Which made me feel like an invader
A secret nest so wild.
Then I turned at a landmark
Headed towards where I knew
And back to my familiar trail
To home I then withdrew.

Cello of Darkness (day 2817)

It is hard to escape the sadness that runs down the edges of this window
Soaked and spotted by the dark rains, so.
Even Spider who comes to visit plays a long, slow song
Nearly a single note with a cello of darkness.
How tranquil such existence can be
Back and forth Rocking Chair sits endlessly in solitude
Grayed and white cracks endure long years of neglect
That crumble even the greatness they once held in Master’s hands.
I am looking for something greater,
Something with meaning that enlivens the pale skin
Peering back at me through the long window;
I seek its desires by reaching out towards the sheen
But no enveloping touch returns, no embracing moment of reflection ensues
And all that’s left is a smudge that diverts my deepest intentions
Towards a solitude that knows no name.
You don’t have to remember me to spread your wings so wide,
Though the wind catches better at one’s thoughts when it floats away just so
For it is here that there is no breath anymore.
It has been and perhaps once again shall come again
So it is here that I’ll wait evermore.

Toad Flick (day 2624)

I woke into a spidery mess
One that had me sweat and curl;
A toad flick had me by the mind
A rat nip had me by the hand.
And just as truth began to clear
Fog of night’s disguise,
A noise to my right made me
Start in pause a moment more.
For a dog of mine own friendship
Winked at me in patience;
Morning’s routine to begin
Commencement of a day.

To An End (day 2597)

Walked the seas and weathered the rain
Woke up in morning’s frost
Felt snowflakes upon my nose
Hot sun upon my ears
Wind blew off my worn out hat
Dust flew in my eye
Humidity soaked me inside out
Shriveled me up like a raisen
Saw through twenty three hours of darkness
Never slept for twenty four days straight
Walked upon burning sand
Slept upon jagged rocks
Met a mosquito in a spiders web
Fell into a great bear’s den
Entangled by a caterpillar’s cocoon
Demonized by a shadow
Yet still I look for tomorrow’s bread
As today has come to an end.

Moon at Midnight – Part IV (day 1978)

(part III)

As I sat crosslegged in the little clearing
Hidden as I was, deep within the forest
Heading East to the land of the Old People
I wondered about the faces I might see,
Faces of the men and women who would greet me,
Faces of the children playing in fields
And fields growing with the vigor
Only well cared for fields of tender hands can grow
I knew I would find
In the land of the Old People.

Beside me was a little patch of buttercups
That skirted the edge of deeper forest
Fallen logs and fir needles of this land
I could still hear the brook I had crossed
Calmly gurgling in the distance
My canteen still cold from its fill
My belly still churning from its fill
My fingers still wet and a cold
Only fresh mountain water can give,
A cleaning happily taken
Where I had let my bare feet soak gently a while.

My eyes scanned into the forest
Of an age I guessed ageless
Not a stump to be seen
Finding geometry in naturally fallen trees
Trees standing so tall my guess couldn’t reach
Moss covering so gently
I envisioned the industry nestled
Deep within the safety net of moss
That lay about thickly covered forest floor
Fungus’ mycelia layer hidden well
In healthy circles around the Ancient Giants
Old Man’s Beard hanging low
And spider webs zig-zagging
With its delicate fibers of care.

My pouch was always on me
No matter how far from camp I wandered
So as I moved away from my opening
I felt instinctively for my tools
Stepping over former soldiers
Rotting as life continued its circle
Through the efforts of decay
My soft crunch avoided the mounds
Finding edible mushrooms was easy
This early season of harvest
Upon edges of clearings I’d find strawberries
And blueberries and salmonberry brambles
So thick I’d get high
Feeding so heartily on such sugar
I knew it wouldn’t stay forever.

Fire starting was an economy no man could do without
No sane man that is,
For plenty of nights I’d been cold
In pure darkness of deep night,
But this night I had supple moss
And accessible wood dry enough to start
A warming dance in my blood
Soon the coals were hotter then the wood
That burned inside their whispers

My bed was simply a roll
The hard ground was something I was used to
I carried soft fur of a bear
On the top of my bag
Which I’d lay under my roll
To soften each night’s cold
My dream of a sheepskin
I had read about in books
Of old foreign herdsmen roaming
Highlands of Scotland
But I with my simple roll
Laid out on the ground.

part V

20151015-shawnigan-lake-ned-tobin-27

Salt Water (day 1951)

Restless wrestling into oblivion
Spiders crossing midnight’s hearth
Locomotives blaring alarms
With an overused burden
Tucked deep inside a minor piano chord
Snapshot time frame over zoned
Freshly unground inside an attitude
Crawling blue veins starving
Window forever fogging
Death knocks at Love’s rusty gate
Salt water streaking pant cuffs
Boot prints trailing off