Healing Song (day 2501)

I played along a pathway
That led me to a gate
Two dogs awaited for my step
Took me far away
I stood upon a lookout perch
Vista in front of me
Here I fell into reverie
Lost in a sea of thought.

Pains that touched me
Held my hand
Cried at me in vain
Smoked me down atop that perch
Led me to my spot
For which I had been looking for
For which I had to stop.

My two dogs heard me
Which took me away again
They licked at the new wounds
I hadnt properly healed
They said to me that all in time
I’d learn to caress again
So there I lay upon the clay
One hand before my very heart
Singing the song I had to start.

Life of a Leaf (day 2408)

I’ve grown accustomed to leaves turning my memories from fresh to curled, a well understood paradox that changes the tide so romantically it hurts like the small spots beside the bulging veins growing inside.

My smile has grown lines, my heart has extended its beats, my hearing has begun to dance with angels upon the dead leaves blowing along the roughly trampled ground – are these our memories we have yet to experience, or have they been forgotten and left to dissolve into earth?

So I crouch down low and embrace the softly blowing wind that helps me to see my passing time I used to think I loved, I used to want to love, so here I’m hurting from spatial infrequencies that cup my involuntary spasms from underneath the table and remind me to forget to itch the pain.

Does this leaf know it crumbles within my palm so slowly softly? Did it reach for me in a pure moment of thought, expecting my return upon amber wings of a sun soaked day like an emotional Prometheus on a personal mission.

Then, like the ashes of memories crumbling in scaled hands of our Phoenix, so too shall sun rise again over the horizon of a small family farm to bring with it a wet spring full of insight and gratitude that runs the width and depth of a heart shaped leaf settling softly upon a well worn path of insight.

The Sea (day 2316)

I want to find a seascape
So blue and lost in space
Shining in a clear horizon
My mind shall know no pain.
Here I’ll watch albatross
Searching for some food
To bring me to a far off place
Off to the blue monsoon.
And when my heart
Sings to a wave
I’ll let it flow away
For in the sea
Sails off so free
My blue blue thoughts of you.

Killing Me Now (day 2304)

I keep hoping
Against all support
That you’ll finally open
To a wonderful life
Without the pain
That’s killing me now
Lying here saddened, alone.
It is not truth
That stricketh fear upon thy stone
Or longing of thy presence, no
It is your warm touch
Instead of coldness
And the brow of kindness
Instead of the eve of sadness
Lost breath that slowly
Walks away with you
Killing me now.

Grown (day 2276)

I’ve grown accustomed to pains in my soles
Boots tied tight and laces frayed at the ends.
I keep stepping over large trees
Under foliage so green
And I see old men walking in each bough
Sharing legends with my awake eyes
That keep my mind wandering
Through swamps and glades of spruce
Like a lost soul with a purpose;
A message written on sacred parchment
Enroute to all ends receivable
– Some unaccountable, some trustworthy,
Some in a jam and just looking for a way out –
I like marching and I’m good at it
And I’ve got my home about my back.

I Really Want To (day 2155)

I really want to
I really feel like finding the motivation inside,
To reach out and scream,
To run until my lungs are burning
And life’s pain ceases to hinder me.
I want to jump and swing
And yell like a charging elephant
With my eyes glaring down
Doers of injustice.
I want to slam my fists in to walls
And flip over tables that seem impossibly immobile
Tearing down pictures
Smashing plates and pottery.

I really feel like seeing red,
But then I remember how delicately precious
Life’s wings are
As I watch a bird fly by,
As I catch the sun setting
Leaving behind a gentle golden gradient
Filling my eyes and heart
Until my inhale matches my exhale
And my toes tingle happily at peace.

Here To Stay (day 1929)

I want to go off and into something else
I’m not here anymore, left blowing into the wind.
Where does my pain come from every night?
Leave me there, it’s in my soothing song.
It’s not lines I’ve drawn across my head
Nor lines that draw my sheet to bed,
It’s circles running down my cheeks
To smother every heartbeat I don’t want to forget.
I’ve lost the difference in my dreams,
They’ve come into my days with open eyes
Reaching out to what I see;
Reflections shaking out in twilight’s lake.
Harmony will be my memory’s drawing
As I lay my bedding down as straw,
Take my hand with what I’ve yet to say
And brush my dusty shoes so that it’s here I’ll stay.

Beautiful People (day 1824)

Why are people so beautiful?
Some days the ruin of my heart
Lingers upon my tongue
And touches my nose with the faintest scent
Of midsummer’s rain.
I cannot handle this pain
In the easiest of ways,
Waiting for my touch to return
And senses to die down.
For I am only a man,
Saddened by a never ending toil of life
To which I patch holes
With beautiful people in my heart.

Beautiful People by Ned Tobin