I wonder where the time has gone
As I lay here on my back
Wondering what choice has taken you
Back pages which I look back.
I loved you when I had no answers
No reason, yet I felt drawn on
Forward my heart has always lept
Trust forever grows stronger.
I see your vision still in front of me
As I carry thoughts about my day
A mixture of emotions that
Send my heart abount, aflutter.
I’ve been believing in you too much
Saturday night snakes around
Calling out each stop light blinking
Do you know me? – deep understanding.
Rummaging in my missing backpack
For an unused silver dollar
Where did my pens run to?
I’m not the same you used to be.
Hope here for a river running
Where my deepness cannot outstanding
Floating on my finally lasting
I’m now two pages confessing.
I wrote a poem as depths of summer
Did I know it would collapse?
I followed the wind into sweet trees
And left my marrow to bleed.
I cried a last chance
Like winds over emptiness
I called and hung on to a word
Yet unspoken was my very reply.
Soon I had walked beyond
Escaped a southern wind
And opened my book to a lost page
Again, a cold and fleeting choice.
If I give in
If I back down
In a memory
Ride together again
Old and gone
How could I ask
Forget me then
Sweeping mountain top
Monument
As a visitor
Photograph
Pages torn away
Have I become a status update?
Words that have no meaning
In the tangible domain
An ego swelling at the possibilities
Inflation at our fingertips,
Choices in our heart.
Have I lost the moonlight
Amidst my electric glow?
My own thoughts displaced
By wings of a glossy angel.
And here I go,
Turning the page for more
Settling in for warmth
With my heart emoticon.
On the note that I wrote
I said I wasn’t able to grow
It had two long names
I’m not about to repeat
But at the end of the letter
I had two last words
That never came out
Because I had become afraid of you
And then I left unheard
With a broom in my hand
Sweeping up each piece
That shattered as I wept
About the loss of a book
Written two pages at a time
As if it knew it’s turn
And I shall not return
For I have a note in my pocket.
I never wanted to fall apart like this
Leaving pages bent and pencils broken
My back pages are written upside down
And my back pockets are filled with memories
That keep reminding me I’ve gone away.
Rusty backstops echo number five
From a once was now gone away
And we might send a letter
To remind you we’re far from you are home.
I close my eyes and wind lays your whispers
Upon my hardly kempt whiskers
With leaves blowing too early now
For autumn to be upon us,
Yet every breath I hear coming towards me
Leaves traces of my sadness
Rolling along to the tune of the trans-Canada
Like coyotes howling in the night
Reminding me you’re far away.
But I don’t want to say goodnight
I don’t want to wipe the tears
That cool my evening breeze,
I want to take back my endings
I never meant to write down
In a love poem I never meant to send,
No, I want to listen to the stars
Until connection has been made
And my back pockets hold bits of paper
Your pencils wrote to me.
No dear
Don’t open the book
To that page
Its letters were written
On old paper
With a pen
That’s known many names
Crossed out many lines
Filled hearts
And sunk boats.
Here
Try this book.
I’m still sick
It’s weakening
Hold me back
Light me up
Fold me in
Sew me closed
And find me all the blank pages
To rewrite this love letter
So I can fall all over again
Into what I’ve killed away.
I am a story of now
Without apathy of indecision.
I am a garden in blossom,
Peak of the trail,
Midnight and stardust,
Lover yet exhausted.
My pages are wrinkling
Which I’m slowly flipping,
My saddle worn upon
A horse well ridden,
Dog companion,
And my decision.