Tag Archives: Love

Ode to a Forest Tree (day 2115)

Every step you carry with me
A fragrance wafting so free
Your spine tingles the very clouds
Surrounding me, which I see
Which I love and become one
Of every day a deep inhale
That reminds me of pure ecstasy
A true embrace
A truth I remember and carry home
To set my mind upon the ledge
Of your clear visage.

Cottonwood tree - Ned Tobin

You Used To (day 2063)

When you used to sing me songs
I was James Dean and you were love
And wind flowed through our hair
Past a highway sign that read: ‘see ya later’.

When you used to run your hand
Across the front summertime chest
I’d look you up and down
Until we’d both run all round.

When you called me that last time
I was a million miles away
There was static playing on every line
And my voice was in a tin can.

Now, when you come to my mind
You’ve still got those wild daises in your hand
Your smile is the size of the sun
Where we’ve both just begun.

Eroding (day 2050)

Loveless and love loss
The nature of a sulk’n heart
Band around my middle name
Forever leaving marks

River runs through every rock
Stepping off the dock
Eroding goes away my time
Raven watches mine

Truth displayed upon deep bark
Mountain high, valley low
Scratching at my back
Needles upon our heavy ground

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXXI (day 2035)

(part XXXXXX)

Every day we could feel the weather warming up
But we could also feel our spirits rising
Spring came early
We felt heaviness of Winter
Seep out of our teepee
With every cleansing steam inside
And Willow would burn sage brush
Helping evil spirits escape.

I looked for every way to show Willow
Love that I had for her
And so did Lily
I think it was a team effort
We kind of all knew that nothing ever was the same
But we still wanted Willow back
And she came back to us
After a bit of a spell away,
For a few days she left
With warm blanket and clothes
To where we didn’t really need to know
But when she returned
She was a new woman
A proud woman, an invigorated woman
A hungry woman,
And we all still loved her
And ate to celebrate the change.

She told me one night
Soon after that
That she had a vision
From her mother
Telling her that:
As the sky must cry
To empty it’s weight
So too must the heart.

It shocked me a little bit
To learn that Willow felt unworthy
Of the love that I gave her
For what had happened
To our baby
But I reassured her it wasn’t so
That no matter what
I loved her
And with this
She looked me in the eyes for a long time
And finally exclaimed:
My Love, Big Arrow –
A name she had started to affectionately
Call me after she learned
Of Lily’s and mine’s first meeting
So many moons ago now
When she had given me her little arrow
And I to her: my heart –
I don’t know where you came from
And I do hope you stay a while
You are a good man
Better then most
Your kindness I could never match
And for that, I am yours,
Until the moon stops to shine
And the Sun falls asleep.

part XXXXXXII

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXVIII (day 2032)

(part XXXXXVII)

I felt like I was getting pretty good at identifying plants
It was really enjoyable for me
To go out looking for medicine and herbs
With Willow
It was incredibly peaceful with her
Walking lightly through the forest
Listening to birds
And waiting for animals to do their things
Before we did ours
This was a beautiful life,
I kept thinking to myself
How I had been so lucky to have
Met Moon Cow so many moons ago now
As they stopped me while I was walking
East from Amy and Frank’s house
After leaving them for the first time,

One day while the two of us
Were stopped along a brook
I asked Willow if she wanted more children
She looked at me and smiled
And said that she had always dreamed
Of having four children
I guess I had kind of already known her answer
Before I had asked it
But was looking for some kind of affirmation
I felt at home with her
I knew that much for certain
I knew that my lonely heart
That had set me out on the road
So many moons ago
Was no longer lonely
That Willow and Lily and Moon Cow
Were the family I really never knew
I was missing.

I held her close
And kissed her deeply
I could feel the gentle squeeze
Her strong hands made
Upon the small of my back
As she let me know with her hands
How she felt about me
Her love was like the sun on my skin
Her touch burned me
With complete satisfaction
Right to my soul
In a way that I had never felt before
Every moment with her
She taught me how to be a more kind human.

We spent the remainder of the warm but late
Summer day tangled in each other
Rolling in each others ecstasy
Rising and flowing
As we taught each other
The flow of the river
With our hands and noses
With our gentle kisses
And passion.

part XXXXXIX

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXXI (day 2025)

(part XXXXX)

One of the fellows came around telling us
That a grizzly bear was in the neighbourhood
So for that whole spring we were all kind of worried
About running into one
As a result, it was decided that
Whenever anybody would leave the village
It would be advisable for them to have
Somebody with a bow and arrow with them
For protection
Because of this
I would frequently accompany Willow
As she went deep into the forest
To find some of the herbs she needed
That had been depleted over the Winter months
Of course, I often had done this before
To learn more about what she knew of the land
But now there was a bit of an extra reason
For me to be with her more.

Though Lily wasn’t quite
Going out of the village on her own missions yet
We still tried to have the young scouts
Watching over the young girls
It was kind of a bit of a task for them
To feel like they had responsibility
One of the many subtle ways
In which my Blackfoot family
Encouraged their children
To take on more of a role in the community.

I started seeing Lily more and more
With a handsome young scout
Named Laughing Bull
He was 2 years her elder
And he would often just sit and watch her
Following her around, smiling,
I could see Long Arrow’s youngest boy, Big Moon,
Always looking sadly at Lily
I know that he cared for her
A whole hell of a lot
And being the age he was
And his brother just getting married
I knew that he was thinking
Of her as more then just a friend.

Lily was a charismatic and big eyed girl
Who had even intrigued me
That day that I had first come to the village
So many moons ago now
And no doubt her curiosity would drive
Plenty of men crazy upon meeting her,
Falling instantly in love,
But for now, Lily just wasn’t old enough
To be carrying long eyes for the boys
I talked to Willow about this
For it was me trying to understand her culture,
She waved it off as if it was nothing
That Lily was still far too young
And if Big Moon or Laughing Bull approached us
With ideas of aligning
It was out of the question.

part XXXXXII

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXVIII (day 2022)

(part XXXXVII)

As Spring rolled around
Gurgling and bubbling and thawing and sprouting
We were all very excited
To feel the warmth on our faces
Without it nipping as frost bite
It was nice to have the first potluck of Spring
With what everybody had left
From their deep winter stores
I had just, a few days prior,
Found some fresh fiddle heads
That we fried up in some buffalo fat
And made lots of fresh stinging nettle tea
Which was a real nice treat for everybody that got some
Before they were all eaten up.

Mountain Chief had made a journey again
To talk to some of the other Chiefs
And learned more of the oppression
The U.S. Army and Government were bringing down
Upon the First Nation tribes
All along the continent,
That pleased none of us to hear
And we had a few nights of discussions about
If we should relocate even further into the mountains
But that soon died down with news
That the U.S. Army were focusing
Most of their efforts
Further to the East
On the other side of the Prairies
Mountain Chief continued to hold his stance
That we would side with neither the warring tribes
Or the U.S. Army as scouts.

Through the winter, Willow had been busy
Making new moccasins with the deer hide
We had caught in the Autumn
For us to wear in the new season
But we all refused to wear them
Until the thaw had finished
None of us wanted to ruin them
In the lingering wetness!
But every morning as I’d wake up
I would see them sitting there
Nearly gleaming in the darkness of the teepee
Waiting for me to put them on
I couldn’t help but think to myself
How much I now felt part of this family
How much they had accepted me
How much we all loved each other.

part XXXXIX

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXXIII (day 2017)

(part XXXXII)

Mountain Chief was very interested
To hear what news Frank had to share
He had made a trip of his own
To meet with neighbouring Chiefs
He had already made contact with
That lived relatively close by
He wasn’t surprised by anything
As he had heard a lot of it already
He still had the rogue miners on his mind
He told us that after we left
He went to visit the location
Where Tall Pine and I had caught up
With the rogue miners
He said when they had got there
There was hardly anything left of the bodies
Eaten by the scavengers already.

Every day we felt winter coming quicker
And before we knew, it was upon us
It was colder then the usual winters
On the traditional land we had stayed last year
But luckily we had kept all of the furs
And blankets to keep us warm
We were surrounded by trees
That we had taken logs, branches
And even busied ourselves cutting a few
So that we could burn it all winter.

All in all, though, we were all happy
We had food, heat, and love
It was nice to be with Willow
She made me a very lucky man
And it was pure joy to watch Lily grow
Exploring more and more on her own
But always with those big eyes listening
Moon Cow was frequently in our teepee
And it was clear how much he loved all of us too
And Long Arrow would join us frequently with Mercy
Who was as much in our teepee as Willow was in hers.

It was a different life,
I reflected upon this often
How much different it was
Than any life I had ever dreamed
Could I ever have guessed this when I started East
Almost two years ago now?

part XXXXIV

Moon at Midnight – Part XXXII (day 2006)

(part XXXI)

Each day I fell more and more in love with Willow
Not to be overlooked was sweet Lily
But Willow was my woman and I her man
And everyday we learned each other more and more
She was patient with me when I needed to learn
Something that most of the young scouts knew naturally
But she could see the desire in my eyes
And she always believed in me
I can only imagine it isolated her a little bit
From the rest of her family
Falling in love with a white man
But then again
Her and Moon Cow were always kind of unique.

She was a good woman
And provided for me in a way I could have never imagined
We grew with each other
And I’m sure I wasn’t like the men she knew, like Lily’s father
We didn’t quite fully understanding each others ways
Expectations of our own cultures
But we were both very patient and considerate
Which allowed us to subtly learn and adjust
To fit.

At night I would lie with her
Smelling her warmth next to me
Feeling her breathing upon my chest
Listening to words she did not speak
But a deep comfort she exuded
She was as kind and interested in me as I her
And our passion frequently overtook us
As the coals on the fire deeply tingled asleep
As the first birds of day sang sweetly.

We would often walk through the forest by ourselves
Looking for herbs or vegetables or roots
Anything really, mostly for ourselves
We would hold hands and stop by little streams
Or our favorite viewpoints
Or little meadows with wild flowers growing tall
And make love to each other
Without restraint, wildly,
And cleanse each other in the refreshing water
After we had enjoyed the buzz
And warm sun on our bodies.

part XXXIII

20151125-vancouver-island-victoria-port-renfrew-trestle-ned-tobin-64

Moon at Midnight – Part XXI (day 1995)

part XX

At first it was hard to communicate with Willow
But we were inseparable
And we learned each other’s words
That helped us communicate
And what we lacked in spoken word
We made up for in body language
I hadn’t known many women in my time,
More familiar with an axe and squirrels,
But I learned Willow every way I could.

I learned how she hummed almost inaudibly
Before she woke me up
Dancing her fingers lightly over my sleeping body
As if they were sunlight
Warming my mind to the day;
I learned how her eyes looked shocked and innocent
When she couldn’t understand the words
I would excitedly share with her;
I learned her various routines
That announced each changing rhythm of the day;
I learned how much of a teacher
She was to Lily
Taking every moment she could to share
Her wisdom to her only child
With just the right enough patience
Matched with enough urgency
To encourage the blossoming child
To remember the things she must to survive.

I learned how she played with me
And laughed at my seriousness
She would push me to delay
In spots I hadn’t noticed in my hurry
Instantly draining whatever burden
I had riding about my shoulders
I learned her mischievous smile
When she would want me as her lover
And how she would lose all control
As she leaned her head back to my caress
Eager to remain entwined
Lost in the clutches of love.

Lily’s eyes would always grow larger
When she observed moments of our love
I knew that her adolescent crush
Wouldn’t let her sleep at night,
When Willow and I would share our passion
She seemed happier
Clearly part of her mothers spirit
That always sought to see happiness
In those around her
She would help as we learned to communicate as a family
Each playing a guessing game
That we became very accurate at
The more we learned each others’ rhythms.

part XXII

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