Surrender (day 2526)

How did I make it through childhood
Run the gauntlet and pass inspection
I rode bikes down bad trails
Faught kids in the schoolyard
I played with axes
And climbed woodpiles
And chased after chickens
That had no obedience
I don’t know where I went right
But I stole kisses
And drank wine
And swam in holes
I wasn’t supposed to swim in
And slept in beds
I only half knew who owned
Yet here I am
Two past an age limit
And still stealing time
To take another ride
Down A sweet street
Called surrender.

Healing Song (day 2501)

I played along a pathway
That led me to a gate
Two dogs awaited for my step
Took me far away
I stood upon a lookout perch
Vista in front of me
Here I fell into reverie
Lost in a sea of thought.

Pains that touched me
Held my hand
Cried at me in vain
Smoked me down atop that perch
Led me to my spot
For which I had been looking for
For which I had to stop.

My two dogs heard me
Which took me away again
They licked at the new wounds
I hadnt properly healed
They said to me that all in time
I’d learn to caress again
So there I lay upon the clay
One hand before my very heart
Singing the song I had to start.

Dagger (day 2359)

She sailed away into the sea
Cold as darkness could ever be
In one hand a compass led her on
The other a dagger for those done wrong.

She cursed the air from time to time
Forgetting where she laid her locket
A secret of heart she dared not share
A lover who danced no more.

It happened in darkness, dead of night
When two white doves flew the nest
Softly did the dagger slip
Into the ribs of what dared her on.

Some nights as fever woke her up
Swaying in her seafaring hammock
She saw a vision: reminisce
A Good-by kiss slipped out her lips.

And so in darkness the North Sea Queen
Sail set down for evening dormant
Watched the full moon reflect longing
A name she called no more.

North Sea Queen VIX by Doreen Broers

Forgotten (day 2335)

I have not remembered the promise we made each other
No, I have forgot it just like the sunset we watched
And the kiss – we never shared
I did not walk those streets with you
In a foreign villa of unending desires
It was not of my hand that wrote thee thy letter
No, that would have broken my heart
To watch you walk off into the day
Of another dream I did not have.
I have not remembered the promise we made each other
And I have not watched the same movie on repeat
I do not remember curling up with you
Under my grandmother’s knit afghan,
Every time I take to my bike
I do not think of the basket upon yours
Instead I ring my bell so loud
My knees they knock me free.

She (day 2239)

She isn’t mine
She wasn’t born to me
She’s never betrothed me
Or sat long with me
Or held my hand
In the palm of her soul
She hasn’t kissed me
Or held me late at night
Nor deeply shared
Or deeply cared
She hasn’t phoned me
Or mentioned me longingly
She’s never sang to me
Or cleansed herself for me
She’s never prepared for me
Nor cooked for me
She’s not signed a letter to me
Nor wished for me
She’s never looked me over
Or looked deeply into my eyes
She hasn’t witnessed me
She’s never said goodbye to me
But I still know her
And she makes me smile.

My Chin (day 2226)

A cheap drink rolled down my chin
As I lay motionless
Stuck in a window of thought
With a naked Lady hugging my shoulder
Purring softly with a story I’m not listening to.

My eyes remember a hot evening smell
Coming from the loins of love
When I licked what I wanted to
And kissed all the rest,
Passion I long ago learned to evoke
Just like my firm grip
Of the buttox of my lover.

Drawn back in with her heat, her arousal
By a finger drawing figures I’m left guessing about on my chest
I smell her hair, tucked beneath my chin
And remember the cigar I had smoked earlier
How it had lingered in my nostrils and danced with smoke
She looked at me and kissed the liquor from my chin
Whispering words I’ve love her for madly.

Moon at Midnight – Part XX (day 1994)

(day XIX)

I slipped in to camp quietly
And set the horse loose
Moon Cow was sitting outside his teepee
Waiting for me
And as I sat down next to him
He handed me a blanket
And asked if I had stopped to watch the sunset
I told him it had changed my life
And he nodded silently
Taking a long inhale on his tobacco pipe
And handing it to me.

“What will you do?” he asked
Pointing to the moon
I knew he meant my heart
I fished out my little arrow
From my breast pocket
And told him that everything was already answered
And that I was still staying the winter
If I was still welcome in his home
He said I was always welcome in his teepee
Unless he had a girlfriend
Joking a little bit at the white man’s ways
Then he nodded towards his sister’s teepee
“She is expecting you now.”
I looked and noticed
That Willow was standing with her door open
Firelight dancing along the grass
As she looked straight at me
I walked over holding her gaze.

She held the door open for me
And when I reached her
Stepping to go past
Into the warmth of her teepee for the first time
She reached out her hand
And touched my forearm
To look me in the eyes
Learning the story of my soul
I looked back into hers
And gave her the story of my soul
And I gave her my soul
When she had learned it
I reached out and touched her
And pulled her closer to me
And held her there
For a very long time.

When she looked up
She had tears in her eyes
And said to me:
“I am yours now.”
And I looked her in the eye
And said as clearly as I could,
“Willow, I want to share my life with you
I want to provide for you
I want to protect you
I want to grow stronger with you
I want to bed with you.”
And she smiled her Wild Willow smile
And said again:
“I am yours now.”
And I repeated back to her
“I am yours now, too.”

This time she leaned in to kiss me
And I kissed her back
Until I heard a noise
Coming from inside the teepee
And I looked over
And it was Lily River
Smiling back at us
With her big eyes of joy
We all broke into happy laughter together
And Willow invited me to sit down next to her
On her bedding
And Lily brought us two cups of tea.

day XXI

Moon at Midnight – Part XVIII (day 1992)

part XVII

Moon Cow and I talked about me staying with them for the winter
He asked Mountain Chief how he felt about this
And as him and I had already developed a good relationship
Mountain Chief had no objections
I would stay in Moon Cow’s teepee
Until the spring
There was plenty of space for him and I to share.

I became fascinated with bow and arrows
And would spend most days with some of the young Scouts
Trying to learn off of them
How to shoot, get good
Moon Cow at first lent me his bow
But then him and I went out and found the wood
To make one for myself
Moon Cow was known for his ability
To make tools
And one of his main parts in his family
Was to make bows and arrows
So he was able to show me exactly how to pick the right bow
And how to fashion it down to work for survival
With the arrows we also made together.

It was quite a thrill the first day
I provided dinner for Moon Cow, Lily and Willow
Willow had made Lily clean and comb her hair
And they treated me as if I were their chief
I also did my best to try and clean myself in the brook
Willow brought some delicious vegetables
That were very quickly eaten
The whole meal there we sat
All four of us looking at the other
And laughing as we ate around the fire.

The moon was out and Willow and me
Went to the brook to wash off the meal
By this time, Willow was remembering some of the English
She and Moon Cow had learned together
That she had said she had long forgotten
So we were able to have a little conversation
With the broken Pikanii I had learned so far
We sat by the brook talking for a long time
I asked her where Lily’s father was
She told me he had been killed many moons ago
With a bit of a sad face
Then explained to me that already being a mother
Wasn’t approved of, and she became
Even more saddened by this as she tried to explain to me
How she was trying not to be a burden to her people
Learning valuable foods that she could contribute
To the family.

And then I kissed her
Lightly, but I felt her gasp a bit
I took a moment to see into her eyes
The reflection of the moon showed me her wolf
We walked back silently
Nearly touching each other the whole way.

day XIX

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Spoons of Sorrow (day 1959)

When I walk into an empty room
When I reach my palms for the sky
As essence, I’m a ghost
And sunrise brings tomorrow
With ten thousand spoons of sorrow.

I am a prophet in a rose
With two hands tied by thorns,
Fence posts painted white
Along dew kissed morning lawns.

When I sit amidst thousand year old trees
When I wave crookedly in heaven’s winds
My heart becomes a dead leaf
Integrating so effortlessly into a path
Dust to soil to earth to spring.

So long shall my stalk bend
Two ends of a hemp string crossed,
Seeds falling on gray wood
And harvest moon is my birth.

You’re Perfect (day 1958)

When I say you’re perfect
I mean it from the whole of my essence
From my tingling toes
To each breath I excitedly (and deeply) inhale,
From my deepest lost fantasy
To each lightly placed finger tip
That crawls every imagination I’ve got.
Your perfection seeds my stillness
That captures me in your grace.
Your wrong is not a wrong,
Your wrong is effort in my eyes
That nurtures your blossom,
Imagination takes your fancy
And lifts your spirit,
Infecting me like a perfect vision,
A serpent,
A sun rising from the horizon
Inch by inch warming my open eyes
To the miracle of a new day.
Your perfection isn’t in your perfect action,
Or your perfect features,
Or your perfect voice or perfect success,
Your perfection lies within your being.
Your perfection lies within your effort
That dances as you know how to dance
Over obstacles and through conversations,
That listens and speaks and shares and fights
And bruises and hurts and feels and bites.
Perfection is you, not the sum of your doings,
It stays with you as you go,
And returns again tomorrow,
It follows you into your messiest of days
And shadows you as you run.
When I say that you’re perfect,
It doesn’t hinge on how you treat me
Or what you bring me as a gift,
It doesn’t depend on your generosity
Or how close you hold my hand,
No, I mean it without you even knowing me
And I mean it as you walk upon your path,
I mean it as you say goodbye
And wave me our last kiss.

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