Today’s coffee reminds me of the day
I ripped a six inch long
one inch deep hole into
the back of my leg.
Thirteen years old,
maybe I was fourteen
at my best friends father’s shop
he worked a lot with cement
and had a big yard
with mounds of gravel
we’d go up and down and around
on our new single track bikes.
It hurt
it hurts
and memories are always there
to bring me away
and back
to where some memories hurt
but ripping the hole
didn’t really hurt
flesh wounds are like that.
Tag: hurt
Whisper (day 3206)
This hurts and I’m not sure
And I don’t want to guess anymore.
So I clap both my hands
To suggest who I am.
Not for a way,
Not for a guess,
Not for a little bit,
Not for the end.
And I whisper
Into the death of my vision
So I may not know
The next steps to be taken
With wind in my face
And a slump, lacking all grace.
Wild Edges of Death (day 3125)
Let me feel the messy you
The one with old sweatpants
That show wild edges of your soul.
Let me smell the rancid death
Of the achings deep inside,
And the cosmic galaxy that lies
Expelled, each pore of your skin
So deeply sensed within my own
A redness on my mind.
Let me hear the groan
Of your hurt and of your gasp,
For the rose becomes
So delicate in death.
Riverboat (day 2902)
Riverboat took away my heart
Big wheel and a little curl
Standing at the edge of water
Rolled away with the setting sun.
Lost my heart to a riverboat
She found a man and took my gun
Off she went, another hurt
Left me here and now she’s gone.
Riverboat stole away my girl
Said it was love and rolled away
Wore my shirt and stretched me out
And I waved at her goodbye.
Winter Depths (day 2848)
I found you in the winter depths
Of my forgotten heart, so bare
That lost me in an avalanche
Succumbed to all buried hurt
To slide away and wait.
Then one cold morning
As I sat alone by my fire
Hardly warming my frozen soul
I heard a voice so low
That whispered to me a secret truth
I didn’t want to hear
That finished freezing of my heart
And under I went for good.
Turning Point (day 2140)
This is the turning point
This is the handing off
This is the hardest part
And I’m coming home.
Been, and said
And lifted my head
To reach what couldn’t hurt
And I’ve gone instead.
This is a sounding alarm
This is a messenger
This is a cold escape
And I’m coming home.
But there I was
Lost in my reverie
To the kingdom I’ve built
And I’ve gone home instead.
Current’s Edge (day 990)
I walk my freedom with long bold steps
– Passionate about underlying rocks,
Saturated in air; fluid, full, exhilarating –
To my captures edge: sin and sorrow.
“DEFINE MY PATH!” From the tops of my lungs,
Knocking at doors of suffering madness
That tied these knots upon my bare feet.
It’s a long walk along hurt’s path,
A long breath to hold, withdraw,
With destiny, located amidst rubble.
It’s a long walk to freedom,
Blistering sores and stained reason.
Along my gall’s edge I protest,
Along gall’s edge I step,
And in this path I do not quiver,
I do not shake with torrent sadness,
For to my edge [my sin and sorrow],
I stare with will, my choice and I,
Into the void, my current’s capture,
And let flow from the tops of my lungs.
No Ladder (day 837)
I stopped at my cliff to eye the fields
A walkers breath was all I could feel
Sent out along with my great view
Sitting alone in torment upon this hill
Not ready to head down to say I’m sorry
Misunderstanding every call shouted aloud
Reaching out hands to soften my fall
And for this I’m sorry, my stars of night’s sky
I miss you more stepping further, higher
A steady breath to hold your thought
Where I cover you from all this hurt
Oh gentle woman, oh lily of my ruin
Not ready to head down to say I’m sorry
Presence needs no ladder to follow me here
Your heart is in me, in every way near
And for this I’m sorry, my stars of night’s sky
I am here now in the height of love
I’m begging my dear for long nights near
Lit up clear with your bright eyes
Your thoughts so soft to my poor heart
I’m on my way to say I’m sorry
It wasn’t long amongst quiet things
To show me how I’ve done you wrong
And for this I’m sorry, my stars of night’s sky
Broke (day 824)
I hope that hurt
Knee jams
Thigh strikes
Booty poppin
Great revealing
Temptress sultry
Mojo breakin
Cause god damn
I think I just broke something
Black Automobile (day 624)
Do you have a twin sister?
Because if you say you don’t know me
I’m certain we’ve met once before…
It was raining, and cold
I was walking home with one hand in my pocket
The other was carrying a yellow plastic bag
With my tall book tucked away neatly inside
I looked at your car there
Shining and black
It was a rare automobile
And I commented on that
You waved your hair, eyes glared at me
A look that would leave most men cowering
Me? Nah. It didn’t fool me
We were good friends in a previous life
That’s how I knew we’d met again
Long forgotten hide-and-seek game
We found each other again, didn’t we?
Did you get that same feeling?
Little butterflies in your stomach
Knees that started to shake
And breath that came in short wisps?
I sure did, not because of the look
It was the memories that flooded back
Years had passed in searching
Where only a calendar could tell what we’d lost
I felt your heart flutter
In spite of your cool demeanor
That’s why I never looked back
When you told me to get in that
Rare black automobile
That’s why it hurt me so much
When you drove that car away