Alone, Within

I believed in you more as an Oracle
Tongue tied and misery
A vision of perfection
I could not attain alone.

What does it mean to be alone?

I have clouds that tell me history’s greatest moments,
And flowers that share with me great healing.
I have sheep that teach me what patience is,
And goats who are with my to play,
Dogs who speak as they are my best friends,
And cats who are my ancestors.

Alone is a construct
Just as freedom and atomic are.
Just as balance and beauty claim to be.
I am not alone if I keep my eyes open,
My heart open, my ears open.
I am not alone if I am welcoming
And I am not alone if I am one.

What does it mean to be alone
Within one’s self?
Did you find it in full Lotus,
Or Tadasana?

Don’t ask if you can sit with me
For you have sat down here long ago.
I believed in you more as an Oracle
Than a maiden who has lived clear through it all,
Answering all questions with wisdom
I’ve read in ancient books,
As if your born again Nirvana
Is leading me on your path to my own.

I’m unruly,
And this is my own.
I smear my own self along pages
Just long enough
To clear blot my way to
Unsensible un-reasoning,
So that all I need is an Oracle:
A busy sign post with one flashing light.
But all I’ve got is a schoolbus,
Flashing lights of warning,
Danger signals of distance,
Red signs to Stop,
And a safety seat with a seat belt
That doesnt bump too much
As wheels turn
And this bus driver
Takes me further within.

Why Didn’t I See Your Eyes

Why didn’t I see your eyes?

Still I tried
For this vision I haven’t found
And your browns, greens,
Forever changing
As landscape’s seasons change
And my footsteps
Through my soul’s golden copse
Recapturing.

Why didn’t I see your eyes?

Even though my feet are as tired
As cobblestoned history,
Gray hair grows upon my patience’s mind
Though burdened with none but thoughts
It is mine golden copse
Retiring into my hallow
That comforts even in
My burning question’s fever.

Why didn’t I see your eyes?

Shared (day 2927)

You have listened to my words
I have spoken now twice
Clearly, slowly, concisely, too
With hopes I can bring you
Closer to my open mind
Closer to our connection
That brings us growth in tune
To a respectful harmony.

I have listened to your words
Once spoke, twice shared
In the way you best can open
A way we’ve learned to communicate.
I’ve seen the glow amidst your eyes,
I’ve heard your heart beating,
I know your truth is openly
Shared upon your sleeve.

So as we move forward in harmony
To each other without relent,
Reaching out to reach within
Let me know my name
That glows inside your history
Marks you upon your path
And let our tunes be spoken at once
Shared, and shared again.

Goodmorning (day 2814)

Today the sun came out
It spoke in a chant
That told me the history
Of every breath of air I could breathe
Which I collected at the base of my toes
And exhaled through the tip of my tongue.
The sun came out today
And shared itself with me,
Uncontrollable
I sought laughter and joy
And freshness
Only evening’s rain could bring
And I smiled
And said “Goodmorning.”

Once Seed (day 2771)

Rage at the antics talking heads play
Forced to surrender, no other way
Lost is ancient, history’s gone
For a game of dollars, enemy’s way
Has taken our diversity
Plants natural genome
Genetically modified, organic no more
Infecting, irreversible turned our seed
Unrecognized, sterile, stale,
Yet to talking heads playing games
A patent awaits the honeybees bum
To take from the farmer lands that his hands
Have nurtured and worked,
Life giving no more.
/end lawsuit

My Last Innocent Breath (day 2315)

For this I shall save
My last innocent breath,
A welcoming insight
Of two parts become one.

I shall forget what has never been,
What has torn at me,
What has floated free,
What has carried our distance
Unbeknownst for so long,
I shall not be blinded
By our history.

For this I shall save
My last innocent breath,
A chance of starlight
Emerging upon me.

It is for this that I shall wake
From slumber and deluge
Sprouting of new life
Upon the trunk of ancient ilk
Upon these paths formed
Carrying my thoughts
On towards you.

For this I shall save
My last innocent breath,
A ceremony of mine
Just in time.

My Sweet Game (day 1950)

Remind me of the garden I’ve floated in
Tea you used to share
Your laugh to my sweet game

With history on our steppe
I could mark every book full of stars
And still your voice through halls of love

Let me lose years since it’s been
So much to wish and to share
Let us find two handsome garden chairs

As dead leaves fall Autumn around
My heart pulls home warm cups of tea
And family speaks free in your hair

My Sweet Game by Ned Tobin