Aches upon my swollen spine
Rip each leaf from my floating limb
Today I am a butterfly
An overturned birds nest
Waiting for a last goodbye
That will save my heart another beat
Mercilessly trapped inside a frame
Aching with each pounding name.
I came upon a flower that I heard sing a sweet song
It lasted a whole day as I sat there upon a stone
Did you hear me coming?
Did I startle you?
I woke into a soft laid field buzzing of a wild abandon
My mind watched as it bobbed and hummed
A tune I came to love.
I hope my tear of joy didn’t startle you today
Though I tapped your tune onto my knee and whispered my goodbye
As day came on to call my hand
Home I sent away.
You know you were my everything
I tied two knots to secure
I had clouds in every step
And then I floated on.
You became a ghost of everything
I saw your shadows down the hall
I closed each book with tear stained sheets
And then I sang my song.
You let me handle everything
I knew it was your way
I signed my life upon the dotted line
And to you I said goodbye.
You now have yourself everything
I see your stones and leather shine
I broke away and floated on
And now you don’t have me.
Papa could’ve been another type of man
Like a raindrop could be caught in a hand
Let another letter slip through the mail
Gone again gone again as heat prevails.
“A little gone,” says the better man
Couldn’t you have just set it right: a plan
I said goodbye into a dusty pan
Held it close as I looked inside.
When the needles dropped upon the forest floor
Little birds gathered all around
Snowdrops sprouted into the sky
And the trail twisted on.
When we chopped the last block ceremoniously
I told Frank that I would be leaving the next day
His face immediately showed me
How much he had also grown fond of my presence
But we both knew that any longer
And my presence in the little house
Would be too well felt
And each day departing would be harder and harder
Though I suspect he knew less of this then I
For he wasn’t much of a wandering man
As I had become in these days.
He initially put up a fight
Talking about the oncoming Winter
And for me to be reasonable
I smiled through it all, and remained firm.
Amy made me a lunch pack
With enough dried meat and fruits
To last me a few weeks
I was eternally grateful to these kind folks
Embracing me, a wandering stranger,
Who came upon their doorstep one clear day
With open hands and a smile.
When I was at the edge of the forest
I stopped and turned back and waved
And they all waved back at me
Amy, Frank, Clarinet, and one of the dogs even barked
I had left Clarinet an old photograph
I carried in my breast-pocket
For her to remember me by
I gave in to my desire to turn around and wave
As I could feel them all hoping and wishing
And watching for me to do so,
A friendly and nurturing gesture I could admit
I walked most of the morning silently
When I say you’re perfect
I mean it from the whole of my essence
From my tingling toes
To each breath I excitedly (and deeply) inhale,
From my deepest lost fantasy
To each lightly placed finger tip
That crawls every imagination I’ve got.
Your perfection seeds my stillness
That captures me in your grace.
Your wrong is not a wrong,
Your wrong is effort in my eyes
That nurtures your blossom,
Imagination takes your fancy
And lifts your spirit,
Infecting me like a perfect vision,
A sun rising from the horizon
Inch by inch warming my open eyes
To the miracle of a new day.
Your perfection isn’t in your perfect action,
Or your perfect features,
Or your perfect voice or perfect success,
Your perfection lies within your being.
Your perfection lies within your effort
That dances as you know how to dance
Over obstacles and through conversations,
That listens and speaks and shares and fights
And bruises and hurts and feels and bites.
Perfection is you, not the sum of your doings,
It stays with you as you go,
And returns again tomorrow,
It follows you into your messiest of days
And shadows you as you run.
When I say that you’re perfect,
It doesn’t hinge on how you treat me
Or what you bring me as a gift,
It doesn’t depend on your generosity
Or how close you hold my hand,
No, I mean it without you even knowing me
And I mean it as you walk upon your path,
I mean it as you say goodbye
And wave me our last kiss.
We got ghosts in our longjohns
And I’m dressed to be late
By the warm smokey campfire
Drinkin’ all the whiskey
I was undone on the train tracks
I was saying goodbye
And I didn’t mean a single word
‘Cause I was spread like a thread
If you ever need a fool
I’ll be the grass to grow
Where you can always find me
Howlin’ at the moon
In a blink of an eye
It didn’t fade off and die,
It took years of tapering away.
Our hearts slowly bulging
Lost subtlety in lies,
Secrecy, and imagined constructs.
And our eyes still glow
Deep stare as our high,
None else becometh what matters.
Yet slowly our deceiving
Left us sleepless at nigh’,
Wreckless pitter-patter noise.
And all for believing
Pure random deceiving
To be lost in forever, goodbye.
I remember the golden letter
I signed my last goodbye with,
A script I was particular proud of
With a rusty ol’ dipping pen
Tied up with lies and eternity
And how many times have I chosen to
Wave goodbye to you.
So I stuffed mixed emotions
Into a ball into my pocket
Sat on it for two days
And mailed it with no address.