I don’t know how to tell you I love you anymore
For every way I know of has been told.
There’s no light I haven’t seen you amicably in,
No space I haven’t felt your soul in,
No memory I haven’t found
Where I’d thought you don’t belong
And my song’s always filled with your name.
But the days that pass
Are filled with an unmistakable void
That is you not being here by my side
Which silences my song to every corner of my world
And hurts me like a dying star should.
Where do I go to feel my sorrow
That hasn’t already been felt deeply so?
What path can I take that leads me astray
To a new thought upon a new day?
Where are your words that paint me pictures
Of what keeps you far off, away
To put my mind in an infinite at ease
And understanding of what furrows my brow?
So I tarry and wander
With my hands buried deep
Shaking off the cold inferno,
With my voice, hardly shaking
Reminding me always
That it’s you whom I love
So come close.
Tag: dying
Charged (day 2889)
Inside of you was fully charged
Steel rods of conductiveness
High voltage was your energy
Electrons flowing inside of me
I felt you coming through my lines
Copper in my veins
Tickling my very spine
Capacitor of fame
I deduced every little cell
Of my lithium battery pack
Calculating all its worth
Until I had all of you inside
A shifting of the tides
Spent of you for me to spend
Dying evermore.
Path (day 2874)
I didn’t open up the pages
To find you dying alone here
I woke my warrior
In day steps, dreamily
Dancing to a beat
Of ten thousand drums
Upon my back and shoulders
Remind me of my ancestors
Who never had a chance
Reminding me of my heritage
That grew up too quick
Reminding me that I am a warrior
No matter which path I tread upon
For it is not the footsteps
That lead a path away
It is a heart that leads the footsteps
Upon a path so virtuous
Making freedom a deeper thing
Truth of unimaginable expanse
And I am there, animated
A page I forever open
To step my beating heart
This path I know is mine.
Throat of Life (day 2847)
Wind is howling through this house
Like inescapable tombs of our past
Flesh biting flesh
Wrapped with fabric so dusty it crumbles.
Yet in open webs I can still see through
Nostalgia hits an ancient bone
That even her subtle breath of wind
Finds it hard to escape duty of.
Slowly eyelids close as raspy sun strokes,
A dying ember reminds us each
That our throat of life
Calms the day’s very nature.
Lost Again (day 2077)
You have me in a heartache
Two singles at a time
One dying off into
Silence I’ve never heard
Two is another choice
That I’m leaving up to chance
One day will come again
At the crossroads
Where we’ll dance
And not a day shall pass until
I’ll have you lost again
Coconut Oil (day 1477)
Dear George,
I’ve been wandering the streets late at night wondering where I am, what I’m doing here, how I got here, what day it is. I know this is kind of silly, just a simple glance at my watch I’ve begun to wear again, but I think it’s more in theory: I’m lost. Can you associate?
I don’t look at my hands much anymore. They’ve become acceptable. I now am fascinated with my chin. The various states of hair growth, the different shape it takes upon waking, after shaving, after showering, at night, in the morning. Have you ever noticed this difference?
It has become obvious to me that my morbid thoughts aren’t normal. No, I am not always dying. The pain in my hip is not my insides unwinding. The twitch in my breast isn’t what it feels like to have your lung spewing it’s contents into my stomach. My throat glands will hurt that much if I jab them consistently. Ears aren’t meant for sharp objects, nor is my nose, throat, bum…
Well, the rumors are true. I’ve begun to enjoy the pleasures of massage. Can you believe I went this long in life without ever truly exploring what my muscles could handle, besides that which I do for muscle growth? I get lost for good lengths of time just trying to understand why my muscle is flip-flopping as it does. I notice when I lie flat on the ground that a muscle in my back shifts a bit. I notice my calves are incredibly tight. And to have somebody else do it for me?! Goodness.
Life changed.
Have you discovered the wonders of coconut oil yet?
With all my brotherly love,
Red.
Much Brighter (day 1018)
The little lover knew no other
But all she had was fits and slobber
The man she loved was much too clever
To hold onto a dying ember
To which begins the sad sad tale
Of the little lover and her
Quest of building ever stronger
Which she blossomed into a Queen
Who loved to laugh and delight in grandeur
And in the end she was much brighter
For being the girl of fits and slobber
If Roads Began To Wind (day 646)
If words like these did sting your ears
If flowers no longer blossomed in your eyes
If roads began to wind for you
Forever may those distrust in me
If I spoilt the love I have today
For a love I won’t have tomorrow
Then let a darkness be the bearer
Of steps I do declare
If my virtues contrast my ways
If my habits exceed my grace
Then let my name ring out in laughter
As a man who toiled his life in vain
If a blade took my life tonight
The ice pulling down my being
If an end does finally come of it
And sets my soul to float away
Which pierces through your heart in pain
Then let your suffering be felt by me
What my dying breath shall whisk away
Shifting Conscience (day 618)
Aches off the coast of your dying heart
Wallow in darkening corners of my eyes
My shifting conscience begs of you forgiveness
Sourly settling into this big-ol-comfy couch
Do not wallow in misery that follows choices
Gaining entrance into back rooms of smokey bars
Cold glasses and top shelf stuff
Free lap dances all night long
Revel in freedom’s advances
Hit the high notes like a 9 year old choir boy
Smoke the last cigarette until the last duck call doesn’t work
And then we shall reign victorious
For deep within the advances of your grieving heart
Rests a moth, fluttering it’s wings
Preparing for the coming months ahead
Where you too shall learn to fly like a butterfly
A Dying Plant (day 616)
Don’t die, my angel
I’ve fed you for months
Checked your soil daily
Put you into the
Most delectable spot
With adequate sunlight
And even talked nice
Whispered sweet nothings
Into your broad green leaves
Stay alive, I beseech you
For our future, we need you
I kneed you