Overturned (day 2157)

Holding on to a memory
Like a rainy afternoon
Through a window.
An oblique vase casts
Two shadows upon its inanimate post:
One small shadow from the heavily diffused daylight,
The other, much larger
From the pulsating heart
Laid bare upon the table.
Heavy splatters pointing fingers
In every direction
And a wooden chair sits overturned,
Too cold to stoke the fire.

Moon at Midnight – Part XIX (day 1993)

(part XVIII)

I awoke early with Moon Cow
To ask him if I could take his horse
I told him I was going
To go to see Amy & Frank
See how they were setting into autumn
I had hardly been able to sleep
My mind was racing and ignited
And I definitely didn’t want to
Step on any feet in my new family
How could I know?
I only had vague introduction to their culture
And could only have my own reference
With the culture I was brought up in
I wasn’t naive enough to think
I knew how to fit in just yet,
Accepted as I was.

I hoped spending the day with Amy, Frank, and Clarinet
Would answer many questions for me
Being with them filled me with so much gratitude
So much love and respect for the family unit
But this was different
Than family life of the Blackfoot
Would Willow and Lily homestead with me?
How far ahead of myself I had gotten.

They could tell I had something troubling me
Amy said: “Joe, I think the full moon is on your mind.”
I kind of looked at her surprised
Using the moonlight last night talking to Willow
I had only noticed it but not taken much account
She was entirely right
My mind was in the moon
And with the birds, and bees,
And coyotes howling in the night.

So Frank and me cut wood
And Amy made us sandwiches
And all four of us drank fresh milk
And enjoyed the early afternoon sun together
I learned that Amy was pregnant with their second
At the same time Clarinet learned
She was startled with the news
Playing as she was with a doll on the patio,
She just sat there with her big eyes
Looking at her mother
Probably as many thoughts going through her brain
As I had inside of mine.

I left with enough time
To return by daylight
Trying not to rush myself home
For I knew that I would be expected
But still so many thoughts going through my mind
Before getting home
I stopped at one of the bluffs with a view
Of the entire valley basin
And watched the sun set
With glorious reds and purples and oranges
That gave me every answer
I had ever asked before.

day XX

Fresh Hay (day 1847)

I wandered into an empty barn, and couldn’t figure out why the hay still smelt fresh. My eyes adjusted with a twinkling daylight filtering in through cracks in the wooden walls, dust that may have once been settled was caught suspended in the beams of light and my eyes scanned the well worn floor, distracted by the antique tools laying about as if still in use. How could I know what had come here before? How could, with a flash like a blink, memories flicker through my vision as if my transistor radio had suddenly happened upon a past I knew well?

Ashram Day 3 (day 1406)

Rain has a tendency to wash away all thought,
To make tomorrow clean and unmistakeably fresh.
Somewhat similar to every morning,
When waking up,
To accept daylight as if a young child;
New life and chance upon a path
Joined together with some answers,
Some direction,
And much more desire and openness
To find the next step forth.

As tears roll down sunlight’s fingers,
Only self can find shade
To silence what always will be
Into motionless innocence
That plays along the shore
With buckets full of sand.

Don’t Have to Get Elsewhere (day 1024)

My baby’s the kind of sex
I don’t have to get elsewhere
To her I run and I hide
Inside every desire to me

My baby’s the art of performance
She’s a changing rhythm, time
And I’m right in it
Leading the orchestration

My baby’s the whispering winds
Coming to me at all angles
In the evening hours she whispers
In the daylight hours she screams

Snow Falls (day 938)

When snow falls hearts gather around the hearth,
Grabbing softly at the cackling pine
Delicately stashed inside the burning pit.
Mesmerized by the dance within, and out.

Here, lights take on a softer glow.
Cold outside carries an earthy fragrance
That tucks itself neatly into corners
Of windows that slowly freeze

Then, from mind we slowly remember
Budding spring uncurling it’s frozen fingers
As green sprouts celebrate daylight sun.
Softness takes long strides out into fresh air.

From this perch, stretched along the couch
Wool blanket helping hold fires heat within,
Tranquil spreads easily inside
These heavy walls flickering me to sleep.

Puddles (day 694)

The puddles here gather round spots of sunshine
Dancing with robins and Wellingtons
In remaining hours of daylight

Punishment has been avoided for now
Savoring the spring’s warmth outdoors
With a steamingly frothed London Fog
Amongst the tall cedars and black jackets

I pull at the trendy girls who sit in my view
Flashing my Stockholm trends in the warm sun
It’s been a while since I’ve been on these steps
A notebook in hand and a mind full of advice
Triumph for the elders and history’s art

Flight of The Bee (day 244)

The amazing graces
Of earths eternal sunshine
Even on rainy days
The lovers in nature
Embrace

Knowing it’s destiny
What else has ever been?

To stare the flower in the eye
Steal from it it’s lifeline
Carry forth the lit torch
Onward, in beauty to be reborn
Embrace

Knowing it’s destiny
Has it stumbled at any step?

(and then we stumble forth)
Into the daylight
Away from sleep
The world is open
Embrace

Knowing it’s destiny
The bee lazily searches
For it’s one true match

Exorcism (day 34)

It’s a crippling numbness
Settling me into my spot as I sit here and wait
Hoping for something but not receiving
Why do I wait like it’s a choice I can will:
The existence is truth, if I think hard enough

Yet I lose all motivation
As if calling the setting sun out while loosing daylight
Flushed, to worried to move, to pressured to stay
To meaningful to blow off
To surprised to react
To alone to feel the real impact
To young to exist any other way