Ungracefully Lacking

Insight has lost its worth
For it no longer blesses thy journey;
It is a burden, a hex,
Pointedly accusing
And draining all chai.

How often does it rain?
Even cold grass
Does not sprout green
For it has lost its vision,
Quest departed long ago
Sun turned into mold.

Gravel roads
And sombre trees
Who no longer speak;
Dormant, sleeping, away
Unto this vision
Cold and ungracefully lacking.

Moon at Midnight – Part XXI (day 1995)

part XX

At first it was hard to communicate with Willow
But we were inseparable
And we learned each other’s words
That helped us communicate
And what we lacked in spoken word
We made up for in body language
I hadn’t known many women in my time,
More familiar with an axe and squirrels,
But I learned Willow every way I could.

I learned how she hummed almost inaudibly
Before she woke me up
Dancing her fingers lightly over my sleeping body
As if they were sunlight
Warming my mind to the day;
I learned how her eyes looked shocked and innocent
When she couldn’t understand the words
I would excitedly share with her;
I learned her various routines
That announced each changing rhythm of the day;
I learned how much of a teacher
She was to Lily
Taking every moment she could to share
Her wisdom to her only child
With just the right enough patience
Matched with enough urgency
To encourage the blossoming child
To remember the things she must to survive.

I learned how she played with me
And laughed at my seriousness
She would push me to delay
In spots I hadn’t noticed in my hurry
Instantly draining whatever burden
I had riding about my shoulders
I learned her mischievous smile
When she would want me as her lover
And how she would lose all control
As she leaned her head back to my caress
Eager to remain entwined
Lost in the clutches of love.

Lily’s eyes would always grow larger
When she observed moments of our love
I knew that her adolescent crush
Wouldn’t let her sleep at night,
When Willow and I would share our passion
She seemed happier
Clearly part of her mothers spirit
That always sought to see happiness
In those around her
She would help as we learned to communicate as a family
Each playing a guessing game
That we became very accurate at
The more we learned each others’ rhythms.

part XXII

Path (day 1945)

Every breath that I hold me to take
How it is my strength, oh strength,
That lifts me to the divine
For watching is exposed my soul
Walking the path I only know how

Say that you’re calling out loud
How it is my strength, my strength,
My ears are bound tight
To megaphones singing Lord’s prayer
Walking the path I only know how

Can sunshine ever know it’s truth
How it is my strength, oh strength,
And my wide eyes undoing my load
A burden so many shall run
Walking the path I only know how

Silence Be Thy Name (day 1782)

You’re the burden I’ve never heard
Uncontrolled in pity and I’m settling scores
Set down the heavy anvil
Clawing at gates of hell
I’m living inside your head
Dirty conscience a bloody shame
Your battle’s one sad estate
Closed up the shutters
And left dying; vegetate
Your demons be your tickling chin
Twisting and reeling
So shall silence forever be thy name.

Carry Me (day 1728)

You don’t have to carry me;
My long lines have touched the floor
And I’ve taken all of my clothes off
To bare everything I’ve got
And you’re not one of that.
Not your wary heart
Or your passive thoughts
Or even the calloused moments
Between making love
And walking away.
This is my burden
And you don’t have to carry me.

Into Light (day 1443)

So long to a once was land;
Wings of an unscented angel
Wandering like a
Sleepy Sunday robe.
And I am a rose,
Twisted pedals and tall,
Chasing after the raven –
People’s strongest burden.
We never had sadness
Till a promise was made,
A gift of ill-fortune
Saddened thorns in our side.
Join me till I’m fortune unmade,
Where I can feel better
In a long line of stardust
That take hallows like
Delicately dropping blossoms;
Piano lightly touched
Into silence.
Ascending again into light.

Crimson Shakes (day 864)

Waking with the burden on my back
Crawling the narrow channels of my neck
Pain so deep it speaks off the walls
And drips into my uncomfortable cocoon
I’ve disturbedly rolled out flat
Fire engine red blares in and out
Of conscious moments of reality
This is a space between spaces
No quarter for heavy thoughts
Too where light falls upon closed eyes
That slips back into crimson shakes

Thee Traitors Guilt (day 770)

If I should sing to let it out,
Let mine heart come before my throat.
Should I to throw it all away,
My guard so closely held to me,
So tight thy clutches keep it by,
That even I can scarcely cry.
It fills the rivers, flowing high,
With demands; spent at last.
Where should I take to plan again?
If never again to hold thy hand.
But my sorrow does not weigh thy down,
It chases thy mind, late at night.
Curling it’s distant cries tightly
Around mine enemies to bring them near.
For you have neigh been gently to
The brow of which is mine to frow.
Like dandelions reach’d a state decay’d,
A tiny orb of gone with the wind,
Gently swaying to and fro
In the cool mornings dewy glow.
For now thy knoweth why
I sigh into the songs I sing,
Why I shall carry upon my back
This choice of burden, this gunny sack.
It holds the damage done afore,
It bleeds the blood that once before
Bled about my conscious’s sleeve.
But swept away like wind that’s come,
It’s found it’s way: burden upon my back.
For when I speak to hear mine words,
What beckons my mane to question thus,
Are simple words, beseeching thy:
If not for I, whatever for, dear?
For if not for I then what is left?
Surely there must be something abreast.
If not for me, what good is thee?
Have I becometh thee traitor’s guilt?
Have I been loved by an unformidable cloak?
Damaged doth my thoughts become,
Left to stew about in gloom.
So out! Be gone with it then!
Let love be gone, at once have truth,
Make speed to return here once more again.
For I shall find in my path tomorrow,
A heart that fills my heart still more.
So let it end, this ghastly sorrow.
Be off with it then, gone in the wind.

Replenish Thee (day 609)

I sang out loud for the burden that wasn’t mine
Felt it deep, deep inside this ol’ heart
Sunk me in my despair to my knees
Streaking tears spoiled these dusty cheeks

Halleluiah

The grass that grows ’round my breath
Be it thine savior, blue skies above
Take my sorrow away, reap me of mine madness
Circle thou hands ’round my soul
Carry me away with thee, off to the sea
Where salt will lap at my wounds
Replenish this ol’ heart with vigor
Fill me, and let me free
Of this burden that isn’t mine