Beacon of Hope (day 750)

It was gravity that pulled apart my soul
Placing memories into the future
Scattered across untrod landscapes of distant lovers
And pulling down on the edges of my smile

-Here I was thinking I had answers
Solutions to problems surfacing on my mind
Yelling at my little conspirators-

I am a little pinnacle of hard edges and rounded corners
Flashing my bright colours at the kaleidoscope
Busy with horrors that meet my sight symmetrically
Echoing late memories lingering amongst cobwebs

-Did I plan this with my own innocence
Or was it ignorance that left me helpless
Learning from my cold teachers with ill humour-

Crashing down into piles of oozing thoughts
Broken secrets and unanswered love notes
This is not a rehearsal for faint memories
This is a beacon of hope in a sea of madness

Long Forgotten (day 749)

Will you still love me when my hands have burned to dust
Love is sadness that carries golden rays of sun towards dusk
Did sounds of heartache keep you awake at night
Blood oozing from hands that toiled for your fortunate future

Will you still love me when my hands have wrung themselves dry
Sitting here dancing with eyes around the moon tonight
Our dreams dressing up in black and white shoes
Placing our love into lust into locks of curly golden brown hair
Twirling ourselves round and round to the tune of trumpets in summers night air

Will you still love me when my hands have curled against time
Sheltering our eyes against the hours of sunlight
Carefully pulling apart leaves that shelter the garden
Shaking away caterpillars nibbling on precious shards of life

Will you still love me when my hands have burned to dust
When history remains and old friends have long forgotten
Will you still love me when my hands have burned to dust
When the story ends will there still be a thought
Will you still love me when my hands have burned to dust

Snuffed out Heroes (day 747)

Today is a day of death and decay
A day for clouds to turn charcoal black
Formulating their madness into darker and darker circles
About my countenance as it sinks beneath consciousness
Downward into the madness you’ve created
With sweeping strokes in sharpened blades
Cutting down weak thoughts and planting black seeds
Heavy hands that compress all that floats
All that is magic and which once had life
Heavy hands that suppress the screams
Snuffing out the heroes in unsaintly martyrdom

Spilt Blood (day 741)

You had me in your charms before
When you desired me in your mouth
Locked me with your legs around
Between plans: a desired future

Swimming was I here
Ignoring sharks nibbling my toes
I tucked in the corners
Stuffed coffee with brown sugar

When the aphrodisiac kicked in
I was helpless to your gin – sin
Locked into waning hours in delight
That spilt my blood upon good hands

Then danced I to the sounds above
Culling my mind: ease into dinner
For racked I was in love and lust
Desperate to grow; forever to learn

So I yelled into a hallow bowl
Shed tears soiling silken scarves
Pulled my hair in ghastly chunks
Went to sleep in a bed of thorns – crowns

But now I cull the passing strangers
Purge them with eyes of daggers
Pour my soul into mason jars
Erase words before they’ve spoke

Dusty Paths of Past, Present, and Future (day 732)

Pull at me and listen closely to my hum
I rock to a rhythm, smooth back and forth
Like well worn arches out on the porch
A motion that wears deep through my history
Bled out my pores of hairy callused skin
Drug over years of toil and pressures
Mechanically pushing back daisies
That dust the path of the past

My story runs deep, like the mighty Fraser Canyon
Rocky cliffs and small tufts of grass
Where wild big horn sheep roam the hills free
And Native Americans corral beautiful salmons
Into their chutes in the fall for smokings
A lunch for colder seasons ahead
Natural processes retained for years

I’ve taken mighty rapids, class 5 with no portage
Straight on with my birch bark canoe
I’ve trapped many animals: foxes, cougars, and rabbits
Some I’ve let go, others I’ve tanned to keep me warm
Through colder seasons, six feet of white snow
And after the deep winter I’ve found high plains
I’ve run wild and free with jubilant glee
Roaring my wild head like a stallion: head of the pack
Then in my moments of charge and conquering
I’ve been run off the edge like a wild buffalo herd
Sent to my death in a natural community grave
One houndred and fifty feet down for a rocky death

My minds eye has seen a crowd gather around
Watching while others start to throw their stones
The crow has brought fortune to the lands I’ve crawled over
Where feathers flow downward into hands of the elders
Placing their wisdom upon whispers into the wind
Which I’ve caught with long glances, two eyes half closed
But my third eye, wide open and listening
For the words spoken into the wind

There have been days, with un-clouded sun
Beating down at my back as I push dirt to and fro
I’ve brought life to earth: strong spruce and tall fir
Long have I pushed a farm’s herd in early spring
Rain has fallen, in sudden flash thunderstorms
Flooding my lands all around I’ve been harvesting
Taking away my stronghold, my safety and security
Plummeting me to my natures own demise,
Struggling away at the fast currents I’ve been
Pulling at my senses and drowning in murky waters

Where long have I been lost out at sea
I’ve found one strong hand that’s pulled me out to safety
Laying me flat out gurgling with the breakers
But upon this life raft, this boat of grace
I’ve spoken with the winds speaking back out at me
It is not for the weather that I’ve suffered so
But from my own intuition I’ve led onward ho!
Aghast, the disbelievers have stepped back in horror
Striking fear of the lord in me with forced penance
I’ve cried long and hard for my own forgiveness
But left out details and implications of all of my dirty deeds

Tomorrow I shall build up around in the dirt all around
A castle so mighty, it will sharpen my eye
I won’t burn bridges others so voluntarily fry
For with help it is forward in direction I fly
Begin it with laughter, in good tune does fast work go
And I shall remember as it’s forever where I’ll die

Pushing (day 730)

I roll around waiting for that shit to hit my head
Spinning relentlessly in this uncomfortable bed
I know not what has passed through this body
Just fumes and discarded waste left now
Memories that don’t lead to filled in blanks
It’s crushing, this deep sadness that spins around
The scribbled out pages of stunted thoughts
I work at pulling out words, but only vowels fall out
Shifting around uneasily like a shy cowboy
Fumbling with vices picked up from long hours
Out on the range with thoughts and dreams
I roll around waiting for that shit to hit my head

Pure Intentions (day 729)

I’m a walking cause
A symptom without diagnosis
An affliction
An avoidable situation

I’ve got a heartbeat
Pure intentions
A rambling rose
With nobody to hold

I’ve got a tender touch
Late at night by campfire light
Life in burning eyes
With splinter clutches

I’m a justification
A resolution
Breaking the good/bad
Souring the miscomfort

I’ve got footsteps
Leading away from me
Large strides and
Slight pigeon toed prints

I’m a walking cause
A symptom without diagnosis
An affliction
An avoidable situation

Drained and Bled (day 722)

Refined the madness will walk away
At seasons end to sell your hay
Share the sun, enjoy each day
But don’t get lost along the way

Then if the last straw be drawn
Finding you left standing on the lawn
No goods leftover to be pawned
It will be sorrow; all sun be gone

It’s known it’s fearful inside this head
Laughter spinning around the bed
The makeshift scarecrow: no wit, dead
No roof to shelter, no home to stead

But not all’s lost when wits have fled
A lone wild grouse found and bled
Enough to feed and safely tread
At least for a little while, to ease the dread

You Cannot Hear My Screams (day 718)

I push you into corners
And suck out all your blood
I watch your face go pale
And feel the taste of life

You look at me with wonder
And speak out not a word
You flirt me with a smile
And hold on for your life

I cannot understand
And feel not for what I see
I have an urge for deliverance
And I will not let you cease

You flicker and wave in conscience
And fleeting memories flow free
You flirt me with a smile
And release all I’ve ever sold to you

I lay you down in sorrow
And unsure of what I’ve done
I will not survive another
And am lost in what’s begun

You shared your stream of life
And trusted the words I laid
You laid down now in harmony
And cannot hear my screams