Awake I lie cowering in the cold
Asleep I remember nothing
The cold seems to suck the will to live
Knees so sore they could cry
Rhythmic music penetrating the deepest confines of my soul
Letting the cold seep further in
My eyes, they slowly close
Inward they lean, down they venture
While the spiral takes me in
The cold soothes my sin
With tiny little dancers
I begin moving to the tune of my skin
Did the cool wind die
That old summers night
As the crickets croaked
And the bugs bit
We sang for a while
Like we were living in a space
Where we didn’t care
For the silence around
In truth, it made it hurt more
It made the sadness gather storm
It made the songs all have meanings
It made the end loom in the twilight hours
But it was all for the better
I realize that now
I have accepted that fact
Like so many others since
I punch out the wounds
The passage of time inflicts
It is I, proud and fair
That pushes forth with the scars
The touch of perfection
The outlook of gods
The ransom letter held in private
The blood that sets deep within
Leaving a bastardly sight
A gruesome sight
Towards the long awaited memories
Of tomorrows never night
Today I woke
I woke with a drive
I hustled and bustled
And smiled at the necessary times
Today was
As it usually is
A day I have lived enjoyably
Perhaps sometimes,
In the hustle bustle of things
When all projects come to a spearhead
When all roads converge
It gets less fun
But that’s short term
That’s only temporary
For in the end
When the diamonds have been cut
When the tiger has stretched and roared
I shall again feel refreshed
As I woke today
With the drive and desire
A day I shall live enjoyably
Homemade in the ethical sense of the world
In the sense that pulls at our sleeves
In the sense that reigns in the whole body
Lets go the ruthless edges of sanity
Into the most repulsive, otherwise ordinary
Seemingly positive, but cordoned off
Regions of my mind
Regions of my body that lurch forward
With the thick scent of another blown anatomy check
Pitted against the random notes
Of unfamiliar strangers
Pitted against the sanity
Of the only race regarded for their treacherous
Angles of sacrilege
Don’t trust the empty can
Don’t believe in the full one
Don’t listen to wise words
With half the mind for progress
Feel the homemade ethical sprout
Feeding deep within thy soul
Feel the sense of the world
As you bend down and look deep
Hold your hand out for the mother of the age
For the senseless wonders
Each and every breath takes from you
With baited breath
Like the newborn kicking for air
Stick out your tongue and bear it proudly
Bring back the novelty in the insane cruelty
Which latches itself onto the rounded
Edges of your hourly wage
Survival of the fittest
When the homemade and ethical dribble
Fall, and the sprout of our progress
I’ve worked feverishly
For the past 10 years
And what have I accomplished?
Peace of mind has rolled in
With the same relentless speed
The ticks and the tocks come at
Perhaps I should invest
In a good watchmaker
Without the holy faces
Without the matriarchs
Hovering closely
Breathing with whistled breath
Upon the fresh sheets
I’ve folded proudly
Without the omnipresence
Of formal thought
Cluttering up my conscience
I can fly around here
Quietly now
Quietly like a butterfly
I’ve foiled you all
I could light up a room full of lost causes
I could make my neck worn out
From the ever spinning circles
I could love the little light on
At the far end of the tunnel
But with all this pent up energy
I could never tear your heart apart
I could never walk alone along
The ever spinning circles here
The ever increasing boardwalk where
My pennies never fall too far
But idly standing by so close
Are the ravens and the hawks so dear
I’ve given them all my food
Now they’ve come for hair
“Dinner time was hours ago”
I yell from my twisted knoll
They don’t care
Or perhaps they do
It’s just the language barrier that overrules
I lay my gaze upon the maze
Spinning in circles out before me
I watch the masses
Gather their plastics
Make do with what money can buy
Perhaps share themselves some dollar bills
Perhaps watch as Cinderella waltzes
Her shoeless countenance slowly down the long stairs
I could watch her for hours
As she moved in her spinning circles
Up and down, and all around
I could walk up and hold out my hand
Perhaps it would change the fate of mankind
Perhaps it would turn our world upside down
The charming prince would never have known
The sisters would have been left alone
I could have spun my dear Cinderella
In spinning circles around the open streets
Watch as the pumpkins and field mice
Pulled heavily on the reins
Or perhaps in my new world
There would always be sunsets
No more sun going about its spinning circles
Just moments of fun
Judged merely by the growing grass
The growth of the beard
The interest in some rest
Or perhaps I could slowly slumber
Down a lamp lit street
Snow growing rapidly in the corners
No traffic, it’s that hour of the night
Pausing, maybe, to watch the snow
Spinning circles around the glowing light
Fluttering nicely down onto my nose
Perhaps there is a girl there
Hand stuffed in my pocket
Taking me in spinning circles
Around the blocks, looking for the best cafe
The one we’ve been always looking for
Dressed in our shades of black
Mod hair to the side part
We used to drive
But there were too many spinning circles
Cool nights like these are the ones that seek my own sanity
Deep within the pipe whistle that blares out these two toned ears
Like the sharp edges that cut this time so
Perhaps the shadows will be a bit more forgiving
With their loss of dimensions
All willy nilly changing to the motion of light
Sometimes here, sometimes there
Sometimes falling in a steady glow about your gaze
Transfixed into the lost souls that speak forgotten tongues
Yet work the windows like Jack Frost in the waking hour
Don’t mind that scratching sound now
Don’t mind those omnipresent shadows
Don’t mind the strange noises crawling down your spine
Don’t forget to say your prayers tonight
I’ve never felt your hand like this
Grasping at the loosely tied bows
Perhaps I missed the train
Perhaps I watched it spray off
Into the frost bitten nights air
Perhaps I hugged it goodnight
Sending it away with warm thoughts
And a wet conscience
I’ve always known your hands like this
Delicately tromping around in the heavy breaths
I’ve never watched the night sky go down
Like the way you imagine it with me
Like the way you want to hold it to me
Perhaps tonight, as you gaze
Upon the crystal clear star-lit sky
You’ll get those shivers all over
I’ve always known when your hands do this
