When I said that I had been
And would once again return,
I really did mean it.
Not like those pigeon wigglers
Roaming without a cause.
Category: lost
Deep End (day 1545)
I don’t have a deep end,
But surely I could find one
With my keen sense of direction.
Surely I could point fingers
And follow my instincts
Until I was past the touching point
My tiptoes were reaching for;
Starting to panic –
My eyes becoming slightly dilated
And a woozy feeling
Overwhelming my body
Like blood that was slowly leaving it.
To Remain (day 1541)
This shaking, this rumbling.
This unbeatable flogging
Working its red rings upward
In a re-wired set of desires,
Flushing out rotten apples
And pushing in-depth scrolls
Fully open to reveal my moments
I have wished would remain covered.
Stepping Out (day 1538)
This takes time.
Your neck scratches
Twist heroin like
Spirals towards starlight.
Your heavy steps
Nick solid wood,
Pick pocking veneer
With thumbtacks
For random acts.
Your tight lips
Close proud moments up
With smeared lipstick
That’s left on
Too many strangers.
This takes time
To get this way,
And it takes time
To step out.
Half-Truths (day 1531)
Lately I’ve been having existential crisis’.
They’ve been keeping me up
Tangling my tempered mind
With truisms that cannot be unfolded.
I’ve found life to give answers
I’m not prepared to ask,
I’m not ready to ask,
I’m not asking!
But still I ask and ask away,
Leading me to sleepless nights;
Circles of half-truths
And mind-truths and kinda-truths
And not-truths.
Until I am truth understanding
There is no truth at all.
I take long bike rides in straight lines
To avoid circling back upon myself.
I have been thinking I’m not thinking,
I’m not leading,
I’m not excelling.
All I’m doing is pretending
To be deep within my journey,
But my journey’s not a journey!
My sleepless night is real,
And so are the dreams
That speak truths and not-truths.
Return (day 1528)
Return my mouth of suffering;
Return to a place where a brook lightly flows,
Where footsteps – delicately laid –
Digress with foggy mountain hillsides
Tangled deep amidst rose bushes,
Willow whips, cedars wide and pine needles fallen.
Return my mind to awake and aware,
Where fluttering wings present
Gusts of wind amidst tiny chatter from illustrious nutcrackers.
Return me to my home –
Nestled among wild things,
For ohana lives there.
Namaskar, Namaskar, Namaskar.
Necromance (day 1523)
How can hallmark decay such strength
That whips about this storm?
A glass amongst dewy grass
Strays memories into this ‘bow.
I have called out to where I’m deeply lost,
I have called to whom I’m sold,
I have called upon a Prince
That left me floating in a sea,
Upon a piece of pixie dust
That was soaked into a cube.
Laying ‘mongst the willows in
A lost state of reverence,
A charmer came and held my snake
And fed me necromance.
My Last (day 1520)
Escape for
My last everything
Was as silly
As my breath
Willow (day 1505)
Memory lays on a dry river bank
Willow crawling aggressively.
Irregular splashing, unlike the seas of home,
But just as wet
As if nothing has changed
Since that day we went home.
Long Road (day 1501)
I feel I’m suffering alone.
I feel my eyes are closing off.
I think that there’s no way
I’ll live
To tell all of my stories
From this very long, long road.
Because it is a long, long road.
I had a hand in my own truth.
I had desire cutting deep.
I feel there was a moment
When all
I had to do was dream
Enter in this long, long road.
Because it is a long, long road.
I have never let go of emptiness.
I have held out my heart to sing out loud.
I had the chance to make
A life
With everything I dreamt
Along this very long, long road.
Because it is a long, long road.
I needed one too many paths.
I needed to let go of this I knew.
I have always believed
We are
Passionate indeed.
So we’re all a long, long road.
Because it is a long, long road.
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