Perhaps it’s the luminescence of the situation that drives one to distraction when playing the small little games away from the goal.
I like to think otherwise though. I like to think it’s the severity of every single little nuance that will effect the end that sinks its way so deeply into my seared skin.
This, I’m ok with. This I’ve worked out long ago to be the true essence of life. The true essence of every single step that we take as we push forth. And in fact, with all of this that we push forth with every single day, everything combined, this is what makes us who we truly are.
When some of us sit on the the milk crates and watch the world pass by, or take the car down to easy road for a bite, or push the effort so easily away from the direct line of sight, some of us tend to also make our own destiny with the same efforts that it would take to take one single step into the future: forward.
Then some of us do not sit. Some of us push into the ground for stronger traction as we lean up against the building, tempting it to move a foot to the left. Some of us take that step into the darkness, and play with the fate of the unknown, unspeakable, unrealized, but oh so enjoyable.
In a lurch of passion the crucible fell to the floor and silence ensued. Lord have mercy on our souls; we were still standing. Still able to breath and had not yet been ruptured into the unholy gates of hell. There was no fancy smoke machine inhibiting our abilities and senses. And yet, as we lazily gained our wits and made our way casually back to the cheap diner for our fix of a makeshift, half way to noon morning breakfast, we still felt a nagging luminescence of the situation lurching forward into our sub-conscience.
I like to think we have no idea what we’re doing. I like to think that this is all just a dance as we make our way through the stratosphere of energies and emotions, trying to balance delicately on the surface as we push our consciences north, into the space that is a pretty good fit for a long haul home.